Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts

Happy Friendship Day!

FRIENDS

By Apolinario Villalobos

Friends are people and as such have different characters, as no two persons are alike, not even twins. And, because of the varying characters of friends, they can be classified into several kinds:

There are no permanent friends, as in a group, any “friend” can sow distrust resulting to a break-up. There may be reconciliation, but whatever fracture that resulted could not be totally healed. In Tagalog it means, “may lamat na ang samahan”.

As a simple precaution, in any “friendly” relationship, there should be restraint in revealing the total self. Only the arrogant will reveal to a “friend” about his fat bank account in order to give an impression of his being a superior financial-wise. Only the arrogant will reveal to a “trusted” colleague about his sexual escapades to prove his machismo. And, only the arrogant will reveal to a business associate the total expanse of his clout or connections to prove that he is powerful.

Making friends is a risky endeavor as one might accidentally connect with any of the three kinds mentioned above. In making friends, make sure that resulting detrimental situations can be handled. However, if you are any of the three mentioned above, PLEASE….change your ways, because, although, your would-be victims may not be aware of your intention, there is SOMEBODY who knows everything…HE IS UP THERE, LOOKING DOWN AT US!

The Fragments of our Life

…realities that we should understand

By Apolinario Villalobos

From the time we came into this world up to age 4 or 5, we spent 100% of time with our parents and siblings at home. Beyond that, part of our time has been spent with friends, classmates, and teachers, until we have finished college. After graduating from college, we found a job at age 22, a little after or presumably at age 25 we have settled down. In the meantime, we worked until we reached the retirement age of 60 or 65. This presumption is based on the NORMAL stages of our life.

Summary:

20 or 21 years spent with the family

15 or 16 years spent with friends and classmates

40 years or more in the work area

50 or 60 or even less spent with the same partner (if lucky)

In other words, childhood friends know us only for a short time while we were playing and went to school with them. Our family knows us only while we lived with them under the same roof until we have found a job and be with colleagues in the work area most of the time. Our family will never know if along the way, we met people that could practically cause drastic changes in our personality, and that includes using illegal drugs. Our partners in life are supposed to know us more as we spend the most time with them, but NOT ALL who settle down open 100% of themselves up to their partners.

The role of our parents in our life ends at the time we leave them to have a family of our own. Our childhood friends and classmates can recall only the naughty and happy times spent with them. Our colleagues in the work area can observe our characters while we are with them for 8 hours a day. And, our partners in life will only know us MORE if we trust them, but it is a different story if we do not.

In other words, nobody that we consider part of our life knows us COMPLETELY as they do not have a 100% knowledge of all the fragments of our life. It is for this reason that during wakes of departed loved ones, surprising stories would come up.

Nobody then has the right to make judgment on a person just because he is a son or daughter, a brother or sister, a classmate, a colleague in the work area, or even a wife or husband because they DO NOT  know everything about him or her when he was still alive.

In view of the above, the only way to have a serene relationship with the people who have been or still part of our life is to be UNDERSTANDING OR INDULGENT for which an OPEN MIND should be maintained, instead of being JUDGMENTAL. That, for me, is how TRUST should be manifested and which should be RECIPROCAL. 

When Friendship is Falsified and Abused

By Apolinario Villalobos

Friendship can be tagged with related words such as congeniality, hospitality, love, trust, intimacy and many more synonyms that go with positive relationship between two and among many people.

The problem with some people is that they do not have the common sense of assessing their capacity to manifest friendship to the point of falsifying it, so that at the end, they feel bad if they think their congeniality has been abused. At the start, they should have restrained themselves from giving hints to others that their being “accommodating” is limitless. 

Manifestation of friendship may vary according to the degree of closeness and trust that one would like to show to their friends. In this regard, some friends may just be good for drinking sprees, some as buddies who can be trusted even with personal problems, some as sources of financial support, some as “escorts” in elitist occasions or ballroom dancing and some may be fortunately treated as best friends forever or “bff”.

On the other hand, some people abuse the friendship shown to them, especially, on the aspect of finances. They assume that because of friendship, they can always borrow money from their rich friends without even the courtesy of an excuse if they failed to pay back on time, though most often, they really have no intention of doing such. Some also, practically exploit their “friends” whose social status is lesser than theirs, by treating them as some kind of servants whose usefulness is good in doing errands, driving them around, cooking for them during special occasion at home, etc, but never brought along to discriminatory  parties of elite colleagues.

There are “true friends”, no doubt about that, but we should try to understand the extent of the sincerity in such kind of relationship. We should not feel bad, therefore, if we find out that we are left out during some occasions, or we do not know some goings on, finding them out only in photos posted on facebook. In other words, as already aforementioned, a person has a “fitting role” to play in the life of his or her friends depending on their need, and the former’s skill or character. That is a fact that should be accepted, for a Biblical legend says that even God has His own “chosen people”….His “true and trusted friends”….but who, at the end, betrayed His trust!

Nevertheless, one sure occasion that all kinds of friends can really bond together is the school reunion during which, even “enemies” during school days embrace, kiss and shed tears of excitement and joy that overshadow boxing and kicking bouts, spats and hair pulling incidents in the past!