Showing posts with label friendship. Show all posts

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Mga Iba't ibang Uri ng Kaibigan

Posted on Friday, 6 October 2017

HAPPY FRIENDSHIP DAY!

Mga Iba’t ibang Uri Ng Kaibigan
Ni Apolinario Villalobos

Sa pagkauso ng “BFF” o “best friend forever” na turingan, hindi maiwasang bigyan ng matamang pansin ang ganitong relasyon. Napakaswerte ng mga magkakaibigan na habang buhay na raw nga, ang halos ay pagkit na pagkakadikit sa isa’t isa sa lahat ng panahon. May mga magkakabarkada na hanggang tumanda na ay regular pa ring nagre-reunion. Ang ganitong samahan ay hindi dapat maging dahilan ng pagselos ng mag-asawa, dahil iba ang uri ng samahan ng magkakaibigan sa uri ng samahan ng mag-asawa.

Ang magkakaibigan lalo na yong mga magkakabata ay halos magkadugtong na ang mga pusod kung sila ay magturingan. Nangyayari ito kadalasan sa mga anak ng magkukumare at magkukumpare. Kung minsan naman ay sa magkakapitbahay. Mas malalim wika nga ang samahan dahil kung baga sa puno ay matatag na ang pagkakaugat.

Ang samahan ng mag-asawa ay nagsisimula kadalasan sa panahong ang babae at lalaki ay pareho nang nasa tamang gulang, at nagsisimula sa pagkikita sa paaralan, lalo na sa kolehiyo,  o di kaya ay sa trabaho. Sa bihirang pagkakataon kung minsan naman, nauuwi sa pag-aasawahan ang nagsimula sa puppy love na na-develop nang high school pa lang.

Sa barkadahan, wala halos itinatago sa isa’t isa ang magkakaibigan, hindi tulad ng mag-asawa na may mga nirereserba pang sekreto sa isa’t isa, lalo na yong biglang nagsama makaraan lamang ng ilang araw, linggo o buwang ligawan. Paano nga namang magtitiwala sa isa’t isa ang nagkadebelupan lang dahil sa eyeball to eyeball na nagsimula sa facebook?...na nauwi lang minsan sa isang short time sa mumurahin at masurot na motel…. naging mag-asawa na?

Sa magbabarkada, walang sinumpaang obligasyon ang isa’t isa, kaya walang sumbatang nangyayari. Hindi tulad sa mag-asawa na parehong pumirma sa kontrata upang magsama sa hirap at ginhawa, at ang kontratang ito ay tumitiim pagdating ng panahon na may mga anak na sila. At ang matindi pa, ang hindi tutupad sa kontrata ay makakasuhan, lalo na kung umabot sa puntong nagkasawaan at naghanap ng mga bagong kandungan ang bawa’t isa.

Sa magbabakarda, kung may tampo ang isa sa isa pang kabarkada, pwede siyang tumakbo sa iba pang kabarkada upang maglabas ng hinaing. May mga payong ibibigay – take them or leave them pa, may choice. Sa mag-asawa namang nagkatampuhan lalo na ang may matataas na pride, kung minsan, ang tampuhang nagresulta sa simpleng kalmutan at sampalan ay umaabante sa batuhan ng plato, baso, ispinan ng kutsilyo, at lasunan!

Ang tunay na pagkakaibigan ay tapat at walang kundisyon na sinusunod. Wala mang kundisyon ay mayroong nangyayaring “pakiramdaman”  batay sa prinsipyo ng kamutan ng likod, sa Ingles, “scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours. Yan ang pinakamagandang uri ng pagkakaibigan – bukal sa kalooban at nagbibigayan.

Sa panahon ngayon, may mga taong nakikipagkaibigan sa iba na sa tingin nila ay may pakinabang. Ito yong mga social climber na nakikipagkaibigan sa mga mayayaman o di kaya ay maimpluwensiyang tao upang mahatak din sila paitaas tungo sa mundong ginagalawan ng taong kinaibigan. Nangyayari din ito sa mundo ng pulitika kung saan, ang mga baguhang pulitiko ay pilit na dumidikit sa mga may pangalan na upang maamutan sila ng katanyagan nang sa ganoon ay umusad ang kanilang karera sa pulitika. Pagdating ng panahong tanyag na rin sila, ang mga dating dinikitan nila ay balewala na, lalo na kung nasira ang pangalan dahil sa mga kaso ng katiwalian.  Kapag tinanong ng reporter, sasabihin ng dating social climber at ambisyosong politician na ang nakakasuhan ay “minsan” na niyang nakausap, yong lang.

Ang nangyayari sa mundo ng pulitika ay nangyayari din sa mundo ng show business. May nakausap akong direktor sa pelikula na umaming dumikit siya kay Lino Brocka upang mawisikan man lang ng grasya ng katanyagan. Nagtagumpay siya. Dumating din ang panahon na siya naman ang dinikitan, subalit sa pagkakataong iyon, ang tinulungan niya upang magtagumpay ay hindi na kumilala sa kanya nang dumalang na ang mga offer upang magdirek ng pelikula. Yong walang utang na loob naman ay nakarma dahil nagkaroon ng kanser at naubos sa pagpapagamot ang perang naipon sa pagdidirek. Sana ang nangyari sa walang utang na loob na nagkaroon ng kanser ay mangyari rin sa mga pulitiko, para yong mga nagkakainan ng dumi ay pare-pareho nang mamatay sa kanser. Magiging sikat ang Pilipinas dahil lahat ng mga namatay na pulitiko ay kanser ang dahilan – only in the Philippines!...at maitatala pa sa Guinness Book of World Records!

May mga kaibigan din na doble-kara. Ito yong mga taong ayaw nilang mahigitan sila ng mga kaibigan sa lahat ng bagay. Sila yong mga nagdadaos ng party na ang pakay pala ay ipakitang mas nakakahigit sila sa karangyaan kung ihambing sa ibang kaibigan nila. Kadalasan nahuhuli ang mga taong ito sa mga salita nila mismo, tulad ng pabirong “o…meron kayo nito?” Hindi nawawala ang ganitong klaseng kaibigan sa isang grupo na kadalasan ay nauuto upang gumastos dahil sinasakyan na lang siya ng iba, lalo na sa isyu ng yaman. Siya nga naman ang may pera, kaya, sige pagastusin na lang kung gusto niyang magyabang…yan ang kadalasang sinasabi ng mga pinakikitaan ng kayabangan.

May mga kaibigang traidor. Ang pinakamagandang halimbawa ay ang samahan ni Hesus at ni Hudas na disipulo niya. Ipinagkanulo ni Hudas si Hesus sa ilang pirasong pilak. Sa Pilipinas, itinanggi si Janet Lim Napoles ng mga taong itinuring niyang kaibigan at inambunan ng mga ninakaw niyang pera mula sa kaban ng bayan. Ito yong mga taong ka-kodakan niya (Napoles) sa mga party niya sa mausoleo ng kanyang ama sa Pasig, may pa-toast toast pa ng alak ang mga hiyu….ta. Bandang huli pare-pareho silang “pinag-iingatan to death” ng mga guwardiya, dahil nakakulong na…friends together….anywhere…talaga lang!





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Sincere Friendship

HAPPY FRIENDSHIP DAY!


SINCERE FRIENDSHIP
By Apolinario Villalobos

The best way to realize or put into practice our purpose in life is by befriending the needy…reaching out to them. The needy do not need millions or thousands or hundreds of pesos. All they need are handfuls of rice, few pieces of coins, old but still wearable clothes, slippers, and so many other things that most of us just throw away or leave to rot in the backyard or stockroom.

But many people WOULD RATHER befriend affluent or influential people who are friends of their friends, friends of these friends, still friends of these friends, and so on. They exert all efforts to find connections that they can use to realize their selfish motive of riding on the fame or worse, benefit from the financial affluence of other people. Sometimes this happens during the christening of children. Some parents endeavor to include influential people in the long list of godparents, for obvious reasons already mentioned, other than what is expected of them as “second parents” of the godchildren. Along this line, some couples, also, ask friends who know mayors or barangay chairmen or other local officials to stand as sponsors during their wedding, for the same aforementioned reason. In other words, many would like to befriend people for selfish motives, most especially, for prestige and financial security.

In this regard, even the mass weddings sponsored by mayors, and which are viewed by many as done with sincerity, are in fact used as a political tool. For delicadeza’s sake, the mayor could have just spent for the snacks and pay the honorarium of the conducting priest or pastor or minister, AND ASSIGN ANY OF HIS NON-POLITICAL STAFF TO STAND AS SPONSOR, PERHAPS, THE REGISTER OF DEEDS, CHIEF OF THE REVENUE OFFICE, ETC. What happens is that, when election time comes, these “inaanak” become the campaigners for their “ninong mayor”…a puking reality! Truth is, there is not even a slight trace of sincere friendship out of the said “connection”, as several days after the ceremony, the “ninong mayor” may not even remember the names of those for whom he stood as “ninong”. This is about “mass wedding”, not the wedding of people who are personal acquaintances of the mayor. This happens most often in slum areas and barangays or remote villages and towns. So, there’s your “friendly” mayor just because he is sponsoring “mass wedding” using people’s money!

Prestige and security in life can be possibly achieved even without employing make-believe friendship with prominent personalities. True friendship with a REAL PURPOSE should be initiated by a person with utmost sincerity without any taint of selfishness. On the other hand, those who belong to the lower stratum of society should never dream of gaining the friendship of people who belong to the upper, and whom they do not know personally. One should endeavor to earn recognition instead of gaining it through connections. To call people who do not know you personally as “friends” is embarrassing enough. In plain language it is “name dropping”. It should also be noted that friendship is supposed to be a “two-way” relationship…with sincerity from both sides.



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Mga Iba't ibang Uri ng Kaibigan

Posted on Friday, 11 August 2017

(Mahalagang basahin upang mabisto kung anong uring kaibigan meron ka….mahaba nga lang.)

Mga Iba’t ibang Uri Ng Kaibigan
Ni Apolinario Villalobos

Sa pagkauso ng “BFF” o “best friend forever” na turingan, hindi maiwasang bigyan ng matamang pansin ang ganitong relasyon. Napakaswerte ng mga magkakaibigan na habang buhay na raw nga, ang halos ay pagkit na pagkakadikit sa isa’t isa sa lahat ng panahon. May mga magkakabarkada na hanggang tumanda na ay regular pa ring nagre-reunion. Ang ganitong samahan ay hindi dapat maging dahilan ng pagselos ng mag-asawa, dahil iba ang uri ng samahan ng magkakaibigan sa uri ng samahan ng mag-asawa.

Ang magkakaibigan lalo na yong mga magkakabata ay halos magkadugtong na ang mga pusod kung sila ay magturingan. Nangyayari ito kadalasan sa mga anak ng magkukumare at magkukumpare. Kung minsan naman ay sa magkakapitbahay. Mas malalim wika nga ang samahan dahil kung baga sa puno ay matatag na ang pagkakaugat.

Ang samahan ng mag-asawa ay nagsisimula kadalasan sa panahong ang babae at lalaki ay pareho nang nasa tamang gulang, at nagsisimula sa pagkikita sa paaralan, lalo na sa kolehiyo,  o di kaya ay sa trabaho. Sa bihirang pagkakataon kung minsan naman, nauuwi sa pag-aasawahan ang nagsimula sa puppy love na na-develop nang high school pa lang.

Sa barkadahan, wala halos itinatago sa isa’t isa ang magkakaibigan, hindi tulad ng mag-asawa na may mga nirereserba pang sekreto sa isa’t isa, lalo na yong biglang nagsama makaraan lamang ng ilang araw, linggo o buwang ligawan. Paano nga namang magtitiwala sa isa’t isa ang nagkadebelupan lang dahil sa eyeball to eyeball na nagsimula sa facebook?...na nauwi lang minsan sa isang short time sa mumurahin at masurot na motel…. naging mag-asawa na?

Sa magbabarkada, walang sinumpaang obligasyon ang isa’t isa, kaya walang sumbatang nangyayari. Hindi tulad sa mag-asawa na parehong pumirma sa kontrata upang magsama sa hirap at ginhawa, at ang kontratang ito ay tumitiim pagdating ng panahon na may mga anak na sila. At ang matindi pa, ang hindi tutupad sa kontrata ay makakasuhan, lalo na kung umabot sa puntong nagkasawaan at naghanap ng mga bagong kandungan ang bawa’t isa.

Sa magbabakarda, kung may tampo ang isa sa isa pang kabarkada, pwede siyang tumakbo sa iba pang kabarkada upang maglabas ng hinaing. May mga payong ibibigay – take them or leave them pa, may choice. Sa mag-asawa namang nagkatampuhan lalo na ang may matataas na pride, kung minsan, ang tampuhang nagresulta sa simpleng kalmutan at sampalan ay umaabante sa batuhan ng plato, baso, ispinan ng kutsilyo, at lasunan!

Ang tunay na pagkakaibigan ay tapat at walang kundisyon na sinusunod. Wala mang kundisyon ay mayroong nangyayaring “pakiramdaman”  batay sa prinsipyo ng kamutan ng likod, sa Ingles, “scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours. Yan ang pinakamagandang uri ng pagkakaibigan – bukal sa kalooban at nagbibigayan.

Sa panahon ngayon, may mga taong nakikipagkaibigan sa iba na sa tingin nila ay may pakinabang. Ito yong mga social climber na nakikipagkaibigan sa mga mayayaman o di kaya ay maimpluwensiyang tao upang mahatak din sila paitaas tungo sa mundong ginagalawan ng taong kinaibigan. Nangyayari din ito sa mundo ng pulitika kung saan, ang mga baguhang pulitiko ay pilit na dumidikit sa mga may pangalan na upang maamutan sila ng katanyagan nang sa ganoon ay umusad ang kanilang karera sa pulitika. Pagdating ng panahong tanyag na rin sila, ang mga dating dinikitan nila ay balewala na, lalo na kung nasira ang pangalan dahil sa mga kaso ng katiwalian.  Kapag tinanong ng reporter, sasabihin ng dating social climber at ambisyosong politician na ang nakakasuhan ay “minsan” na niyang nakausap, yong lang.

Ang nangyayari sa mundo ng pulitika ay nangyayari din sa mundo ng show business. May nakausap akong direktor sa pelikula na umaming dumikit siya kay Lino Brocka upang mawisikan man lang ng grasya ng katanyagan. Nagtagumpay siya. Dumating din ang panahon na siya naman ang dinikitan, subalit sa pagkakataong iyon, ang tinulungan niya upang magtagumpay ay hindi na kumilala sa kanya nang dumalang na ang mga offer upang magdirek ng pelikula. Yong walang utang na loob naman ay nakarma dahil nagkaroon ng kanser at naubos sa pagpapagamot ang perang naipon sa pagdidirek. Sana ang nangyari sa walang utang na loob na nagkaroon ng kanser ay mangyari rin sa mga pulitiko, para yong mga nagkakainan ng dumi ay pare-pareho nang mamatay sa kanser. Magiging sikat ang Pilipinas dahil lahat ng mga namatay na pulitiko ay kanser ang dahilan – only in the Philippines!...at maitatala pa sa Guinness Book of World Records!

May mga kaibigan din na doble-kara. Ito yong mga taong ayaw nilang mahigitan sila ng mga kaibigan sa lahat ng bagay. Sila yong mga nagdadaos ng party na ang pakay pala ay ipakitang mas nakakahigit sila sa karangyaan kung ihambing sa ibang kaibigan nila. Kadalasan nahuhuli ang mga taong ito sa mga salita nila mismo, tulad ng pabirong “o…meron kayo nito?” Hindi nawawala ang ganitong klaseng kaibigan sa isang grupo na kadalasan ay nauuto upang gumastos dahil sinasakyan na lang siya ng iba, lalo na sa isyu ng yaman. Siya nga naman ang may pera, kaya, sige pagastusin na lang kung gusto niyang magyabang…yan ang kadalasang sinasabi ng mga pinakikitaan ng kayabangan.

May mga kaibigang traidor. Ang pinakamagandang halimbawa ay ang samahan ni Hesus at ni Hudas na disipulo niya. Ipinagkanulo ni Hudas si Hesus sa ilang pirasong pilak. Sa Pilipinas, itinanggi si Janet Lim Napoles ng mga taong itinuring niyang kaibigan at inambunan ng mga ninakaw niyang pera mula sa kaban ng bayan. Ito yong mga taong ka-kodakan niya (Napoles) sa mga party niya sa mausoleo ng kanyang ama sa Pasig, may pa-toast toast pa ng alak ang mga hiyu….ta. Bandang huli pare-pareho silang “pinag-iingatan to death” ng mga guwardiya, dahil nakakulong na…friends together….anywhere…talaga lang!





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Want a Serene Life? Try These....

Posted on Tuesday, 13 June 2017

Want a Serene Life? Try These…
By: Apolinario B. Villalobos

Seven Suggested “Don’ts”

1.      Do not accumulate worldly materials beyond your need. Most people adhere to the notion that the more worldly materials they have in life the more they become secure. And for them, these accumulated materials manifest success in life, too. It is the reason why these people become compulsive buyers and collectors  of things that take their fancy – things that they can show off. Unknowingly, by doing so, they are developing some kind of fear of not having things that they want which further develops into insecurity, and worse, attachment to these worldly things making them reluctant to accept death knowing that they are leaving their accumulated wealth behind.

2.      Do not play “God” to others. Some people try their best “to guide” others to  
      do good. Unfortunately, they themselves are doing things the wrong way. It is
      like telling friends: follow what I say, but do not follow what I do.

3.      Do not depend on someone or something for happiness. Some people attribute their happiness to their success in job, kind of family, friends, wealth, etc. As a result, when they lose their job, it is as if life has ended for them, or when  their marriage has failed, for them the only way to end the misery is to commit suicide, or when close friends have left them, they felt there is   nobody to run to when problems crop up, or when their savings have dwindled, they felt as if they have suddenly become poor. Just take things in stride.

4.      Do not “mark” people. Do not ask others what province they came from, or  
      what their jobs are, or where they live. Accept people as what they are.     
      Purportedly, we ask people about their background so that we will know how 
      to “adjust”  to their kind of personality. Unconsciously, however, the one
      reason why we do that is to make sure that we are better than them. It is  
      when we have known their background that we begin to blame these for  
      their faults.

5.      Do not think that you can never do any good. Believe in what you can do. As
      you wake up in the morning, do not ever think that you are too tired to do  
      things for the day or that you are not just in the mood to do some things for  
      the day. If you develop the habit about negating your capabilities, such will
      stick to your personality, which can later on drag you down.

6.      Do not attach your emotions to any worldly materials. Learn how to part with your “valuables” so that you will not be depressed afterwards. Console yourself with the thought that you have made a sacrifice to make others happy.

7.      Do not be impressed by external beauty – the made up faces on magazine covers. Most importantly, do not compare how you look with these images. Each one of us is unique. Beauty emanates from inside of us and the impression depends on how we manifest them through our speech, actions, etc. Beauty can be equated with gracefulness and tactfulness. If one feels blessed or enlightened, tranquility is shown on his or her face and that is when beauty is manifested and impressed on others.

Seven Suggested “Do’s”


1.      Talk to yourself. At least once a day, especially, before arising from bed, try to contemplate on what you have done the day before and evaluate them whether they were good or  bad. Did you hurt somebody’s feelings? Did you exploit somebody to your own advantage? Etc. As an exercise, face yourself in the mirror and talk to yourself. Scold yourself if you found that you have done something wrong. The best measure for this is the “Golden Rule”  which simply put, is your not wanting bad done to you, hence, you should not do something bad to others, too. If indeed you have wronged others, make amends.

2.      Let go…! Let go of whatever bad thoughts you have about others. Try  
replacing  these thoughts with the goodness that these “others” have done,  
not  necessarily to you, but to others. You may go to the extent of presuming
that they have done something good to others. It can’t hurt you.

3.      Be contented… with the kind of friends you have. You may extend a helping 
hand in such a subtle way as to imply that they need to change their ways. Do not impose yourself on them for they will surely be turned off.

4.      Listen to your conscience. Man was created by God as an intelligent being, hence, with the ability to know what is good or bad. And, as our integral part, we have our conscience – our inner self that always tells us what is good for us. Unfortunately, our physical self always plays the villain. That is why, there exists the so-called “mind vs. body” struggle. With a simple vice as smoking for instance, our conscience tells us that it is bad but our physical craving tells us to go ahead. It is therefore, worthwhile to listen once in a while to what our conscience says, and discipline in this regard will determine, how far we can go.

5.      Visualize. You can be what you want to be. As earlier mentioned, the impression that you give depends on what is going on in your mind. Visualize yourself as a “cool” person and you will surely have that smile in your face . Visualize yourself as a patient person and you can be one without much effort. Choose your kind of behavior.

6.      Think of yourself as a positive person – a happy person, as if you are a kind of light from which emanates a radiance that floods your surrounding with happiness. Think of yourself as a radiance that touches others to give them warmth.

7.      Share. We have been used to sharing material things – food, money, etc. which are tangible. But have you ever unselfishly shared ideas that in one way or another can help others? But remember not to impose when you share. In doing this, it should be on a “take it or leave it” basis.


To be honest about it, I had second thoughts before deciding to put these “personal” guiding principles into writing to be shared with others. Verbally, however, I have tried it – in the course of casual conversations with acquaintances. I just do not know, if after these conversations, what I have “shared” have been inadvertently forgotten or intentionally thrown to the winds. At least I tried…

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Friends

Posted on Saturday, 4 February 2017

Happy Friendship Day!

FRIENDS
By Apolinario Villalobos

Friends are people and as such have different characters, as no two persons are alike, not even twins. And, because of the varying characters of friends, they can be classified into several kinds:
  • Friends who use their “friends” for selfish motives.
  • Friends who boost their ego at the expense of their “friends”. 
  • Friends who are actually “enemies” in disguise.

There are no permanent friends, as in a group, any “friend” can sow distrust resulting to a break-up. There may be reconciliation, but whatever fracture that resulted could not be totally healed. In Tagalog it means, “may lamat na ang samahan”.

As a simple precaution, in any “friendly” relationship, there should be restraint in revealing the total self. Only the arrogant will reveal to a “friend” about his fat bank account in order to give an impression of his being a superior financial-wise. Only the arrogant will reveal to a “trusted” colleague about his sexual escapades to prove his machismo. And, only the arrogant will reveal to a business associate the total expanse of his clout or connections to prove that he is powerful.


Making friends is a risky endeavor as one might accidentally connect with any of the three kinds mentioned above. In making friends, make sure that resulting detrimental situations can be handled. However, if you are any of the three mentioned above, PLEASE….change your ways, because, although, your would-be victims may not be aware of your intention, there is SOMEBODY who knows everything!

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Pol Saulog at Magno Padua

Posted on Saturday, 21 January 2017

POL SAULOG AT MAGNO PADUA
…mga bukod-tanging kaibigan sa Cavite
Ni Apolinario Villalobos

Nakilala ko si Manong Pol nang tumira ako sa isang subdivision sa Cavite. Sa simula ay simpleng batian lang ang aming ginagawa tuwing kakain ako o uminom ng beer sa kanyang “native style” na restaurant sa labas ng aming subdivision. Mahilig siyang magluto ng mga pagkaing Kabitenyo subalit hindi niya ako inaalok ng mga ito dahil nalaman niyang vegetarian ako. Nakilala ko rin ang kanyang mga anak at asawa na naging malapit sa akin. Hindi ko binigyang pansin ang tikas ng kanyang personalidad sa simula sa kabila ng artistahin niyang mukha. Nagulat na lamang ako nang malaman ko sa ibang kaibigan niya na lumalabas pala siya sa pelikula ni Ramon Revilla kasama ang isa pang kaibigan ko sa lugar ding yon na si Ding Santos.

Hindi palasalita si Manong Pol kaya karamihan ng mga kuwento tungkol sa kanyang buhay ay sa kanyang mga kumpare ko nalaman. Napansin niya ang pagiging galante ko noon sa inuman kaya pinayuhan niya akong maghinay-hinay sa paggastos sa alak at piliing mabuti ang mga taong gustong makipagkaibigan sa akin. May laman ang kanyang sinabi at napatunayan ko makalipas ang maraming taon. Nagsilbi siyang “kuya” ko sa lugar namin, at ang samahan namin ang nakatulong upang respetuhin din ako ng mga nagrerespeto sa kanya.

Maaga ako noong pumasok sa opisina na nasa Roxas Boulevard, sakop ng Ermita. Madaling araw pa lang ay nasa highway na ako at nag-aabang ng masasakyag dyip. Madalas akong madaanan nina Manong Pol at ng kanyang asawa na araw-araw namang pumupunta sa Maynila kaya nai-aangkas nila ako sa kotse nilang Mustang, isang collectible na edition. Ibinababa nila ako sa mismong harapan ng S&L Building kung saan ako nag-oopisina.

Bukod sa restaurant sa labasan namin, may tindahan pa rin sina Manong Pol sa kanilang bahay na katabi ng subdivision namin, kung saan ako umuutang ng kaha-kahang beer na nilalatag ko sa mga kaibigan tuwing mag-inuman kami. Nagtapat siya minsan na ako lang ang pinagbubuksan niya ng tindahan kahit alanganing oras tuwing ako ay tatawag upang umutang ng beer. Sinabi din ito sa akin ng mga kumpare niya na hindi niya pinagbibigyan kahit sa tagal na ng kanilang samahan.

Nang panahong yon, kailangan kong makisama sa mga taong nakatira sa paligid ng subdivision namin dahil sa katungkulan ko bilang presidente ng homeowners’ association. Sa pagkakataong ito ko nakilala din si Magno Padua, na nirerespeto sa lugar namin. Bukod sa kanya ay nakilala ko rin ang kanyang mga kapatid na sina Tomas, Budjo, Emo, Tura at  Millie. Namayapa na sina Tomas, Emo, at Millie. Noong buhay pa ang nanay nina Magno, ipinaghahanda niya ako ng hiniwa nang malalaki na patola na niluluto niya sa  bawang. Ang ulam ay masarap sa kabila ng payak na pagkaluto sa bawang, lalo na ang sabaw na manamis-namis pa.. Masipag magtanim ang magkakaptid ng gulay na binibenta din nila sa palengke ng Zapote kaya sagana ako sa gulay tuwing pupunta ako sa kanila.

Dahil ako ay dayo sa lugar na tinirhan ko malaking bagay ang nagawa ng pakipagkaibigan ko sa mga nabanggit. Kung anong respetong ipinakita sa kanila ay ipinakita at pinadanas din sa akin ng mga naging kaibigan kong nakakakilala sa kanila. Marami rin akong natutunan sa kanila lalo na sa pakikisama sa ibang tao, higit sa lahat ay ang pagpapairal ng ugali sa paraang walang kayabangan. Napansin ko na sa mga kasayahan, kalimitan ay nasa tabi lamang sila at hindi nagbabangka o nagpapasimula ng kuwentuhan. Kung uminom man ng alak ay yong tipong, pang-sosyal, hindi laklak.

Parehong biyudo sina Manong Pol at Magno, magkasing-edad sa gulang na mahigit sitenta pero matitikas pa rin. Nagkikita kami ni Manong Pol kung siya ay masumpungan ko sa tinitirhan ng kanyang anak, dahil nakatira na siya ngayon sa isa pang bayan ng Cavite mula noong mamatay ang asawa niya. Si Magno naman ay pinapasyalan ko tuwing may panahon ako dahil hindi kalayuan ang tinitirhan niya mula sa amin.


Ang mga tinukoy ko ay halimbawa ng mga taong hindi ko makakalimutan dahil sa maganda nilang asal kahit hindi nakatuntong ng kolehiyo. Lutang na lutang ang bukod-tangi nilang pagkatao kahit sa umpukan dahil sa ugali nilang higit pa sa ilang nakatapos sa malalaking unibersidad...kaya dapat tularan.



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The Fragments of our Life...realities that we should understand

Posted on Wednesday, 4 January 2017

The Fragments of our Life
…realities that we should understand
By Apolinario Villalobos

From the time we came into this world up to age 4 or 5, we spent 100% of time with our parents and siblings at home. Beyond that, part of our time has been spent with friends, classmates, and teachers, until we have finished college. After graduating from college, we found a job at age 22, a little after or presumably at age 25 we have settled down. In the meantime, we worked until we reached the retirement age of 60 or 65. This presumption is based on the NORMAL stages of our life.

Summary:
20 or 21 years spent with the family
15 or 16 years spent with friends and classmates
40 years or more in the work area
50 or 60 or even less spent with the same partner (if lucky)

In other words, childhood friends know us only for a short time while we were playing and went to school with them. Our family knows us only while we lived with them under the same roof until we have found a job and be with colleagues in the work area most of the time. Our family will never know if along the way, we met people that could practically cause drastic changes in our personality, and that includes using illegal drugs. Our partners in life are supposed to know us more as we spend the most time with them, but NOT ALL who settle down open 100% of themselves up to their partners.

The role of our parents in our life ends at the time we leave them to have a family of our own. Our childhood friends and classmates can recall only the naughty and happy times spent with them. Our colleagues in the work area can observe our characters while we are with them for 8 hours a day. And, our partners in life will only know us MORE if we trust them, but it is a different story if we do not.

In other words, nobody that we consider part of our life knows us COMPLETELY as they do not have a 100% knowledge of all the fragments of our life. It is for this reason that during wakes of departed loved ones, surprising stories would come up.

Nobody then has the right to make judgment on a person just because he is a son or daughter, a brother or sister, a classmate, a colleague in the work area, or even a wife or husband because they DO NOT  know everything about him or her when he was still alive.


In view of the above, the only way to have a serene relationship with the people who have been or still part of our life is to be UNDERSTANDING OR INDULGENT for which an OPEN MIND should be maintained, instead of being JUDGMENTAL. That, for me, is how TRUST should be manifested and which should be RECIPROCAL. 

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Sincere Friendship

Posted on Monday, 19 December 2016

SINCERE FRIENDSHIP
By Apolinario Villalobos

The best way to realize or put into practice our purpose in life is by befriending the needy…reaching out to them. The needy do not need millions or thousands or hundreds of pesos. All they need are handfuls of rice, few pieces of coins, old but still wearable clothes, slippers, and so many other things that most of us just throw away or leave to rot in the backyard or stockroom.

But many people WOULD RATHER befriend affluent or influential people who are friends of their friends, friends of these friends, still friends of these friends, and so on. They exert all efforts to find connections that they can use to realize their selfish motive of riding on the fame or worse, benefit from the financial affluence of other people. Sometimes this happens during the christening of children. Some parents endeavor to include influential people in the long list of godparents, for obvious reasons already mentioned, other than what is expected of them as “second parents” of the godchildren. Along this line, some couples, also, ask friends who know mayors or barangay chairmen or other local officials to stand as sponsors during their wedding, for the same aforementioned reason. In other words, many would like to befriend people for selfish motives, most especially, for prestige and financial security.

In this regard, even the mass weddings sponsored by mayors, and which are viewed by many as done with sincerity, are in fact used as a political tool. For delicadeza’s sake, the mayor could have just spent for the snacks and pay the honorarium of the conducting priest or pastor or minister, AND ASSIGN ANY OF HIS NON-POLITICAL STAFF TO STAND AS SPONSOR, PERHAPS, THE REGISTER OF DEEDS, CHIEF OF THE REVENUE OFFICE, ETC. What happens is that, when election time comes, these “inaanak” become the campaigners for their “ninong mayor”…a puking reality! Truth is, there is not even a slight trace of sincere friendship out of the said “connection”, as several days after the ceremony, the “ninong mayor” may not even remember the names of those for whom he stood as “ninong”. This is about “mass wedding”, not the wedding of people who are personal acquaintances of the mayor. This happens most often in slum areas and barangays or remote villages and towns. So, there’s your “friendly” mayor just because he is sponsoring “mass wedding” using people’s money!

Prestige and security in life can be possibly achieved even without employing make-believe friendship with prominent personalities. True friendship with a REAL PURPOSE should be initiated by a person with utmost sincerity without any taint of selfishness. On the other hand, those who belong to the lower stratum of society should never dream of gaining the friendship of people who belong to the upper, and whom they do not know personally. One should endeavor to earn recognition instead of gaining it through connections. To call people who do not know you personally as “friends” is embarrassing enough. In plain language it is “name dropping”. It should also be noted that friendship is supposed to be a “two-way” relationship…with sincerity from both sides.



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On Friendly and Intimate Relationships

Posted on Monday, 7 November 2016

ON FRIENDLY AND INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS
By Apolinario Villalobos

Both relationships mentioned in the title are founded on “trust”. However, trust sometimes is established haphazardly, without even checking thoroughly the kind of a person with whom it is established. Some people may discover too late that their “best friend” cannot be trusted al all, as some, come out to be innately insecure. Some couples may also discover that their partner is not really “sincere” as expected, despite the signed marriage documents, and worse, discovery is made after having several offspring. This situation is what dissatisfied partners as “hellish life”.

Another act that spoils the relationship is the “abuse” of either party. The one who commits the act selfishly presumes that anything can be done to the trusting friend or intimate partner. Initially, there would be tolerance “for friendship’s sake”. But in time, such abuse may no longer be tolerated and expectedly results to the severance of relationship.


Abuse on the part of a partner who commits the act is hidden or camouflaged by a “merry intent” or “joke”, though, in reality, the intention is to humiliate the trusting and unsuspecting friend or partner in front of others. This happens most often to friends and partners whose success is not acceptable to the offender due to envy. I know this because I am in touch with people who are victims, and until now are languishing in regret for having wasted their lives in the company of insecure people. 

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Salamin ng Buhay

Salamin ng Buhay
ni Apolinario B Villalobos


Hindi nakikita ng tao ang kanyang mukha hangga’t hindi siya tumingin sa salamin. Sa ganoong pagkakataon pa lamang niya makikita ang kabuuhan ng kanyang mukha, na siya pala ay may dungis na dapat niyang punasan upang matanggal… na siya pala ay may nunal sa ilalim ng kaliwang mata… na siya pala ay may mga ngipin na hindi pantay… na siya pala ay may matamis na ngiti, atbp.

Sa araw-araw nating pamumuhay, kailangan din nating magkaroon ng “salamin” upang malaman kung may mga ginawa tayo na hindi maganda, masagwa, o mabuti. Sa pagkakataong ito, ang “salamin” natin ay ang ating kapwa. Sa kanila natin masasalamin at malalaman na may mga ginawa tayo na masagwa pala kaya dapat nating iwasang gawin uli. Sa mga ginawa din nila natin masasalamin ang mga kabutihang ginawa na natin, nguni’t hindi natin alam.

Nguni’t may bisa lamang ang paggamit natin ng ating kapwa bilang salamin kung kaya nating tanggapin ang ating kamalian. Hangga’t hindi natin ito kayang gawin, hanggang papuri na lamang tayo kung may makikita tayong magandang ginawa ng ating kapwa at pangkukutya sa kanila kung gumawa sila ng masama – na ginawa din pala natin. Dahil diyan ay walang silbi ang ating pananalamin sa pamamagitan ng ating kapwa.

Sa mga pagkakataong dapat ay mayroon tayong natutunan pero pinalampas natin, wala tayong dapat sisihin kundi ang sarili natin - kung tayo ay naghihirap dahil sa palaging kakapusan sa pera, may mga suwail na anak, nawalan ng trabaho, hiniwalayan ng asawa, atbp.

Magsisi man tayo…ay huli na.



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Ang Pag-unawa sa Ugali ng Tao

Posted on Thursday, 3 November 2016

ANG PAG-UNAWA SA UGALI NG TAO
Ni Apolinario Villalobos

UPANG HINDI MAGING 100% ANG GALIT SA ISANG TAO, ALALAHANIN DIN ANG MGA MAGAGANDANG BAGAY NA KANYANG GINAWA. HINDI LANG IISANG UGALI MAYROON ANG TAO…MARAMI AT NAGKAKAIBA – MABUTI AT MASAMA. PERO KUNG SA TINGIN AY TALAGANG UMIIRAL ANG KASAMAAN NG ISANG TAO, UNAWAIN NA LANG, AT IWASAN UPANG WALANG GULO NA BAKA HUMANTONG PA SA SAKITAN.

PATI SI HESUS AY NAGMURA DIN AYON SA BIBLIYA. MATINDI ANG KAPANGYARIHAN NG KANYANG PAGMUMURA DAHIL NALANTA ANG PUNO NG PRUTAS NA HINDI NAGKAROON NG BUNGA, PALATANDAANG HINDI NITO GINAMPANAN ANG KANYANG PAPEL SA MUNDO. DAHIL SA PAGKA-INUTIL NG PUNO AY NAGING BIKTIMA RIN SI HESUS NA GUTOM NANG PANAHONG YON. KUNG ANG PAGMUMURA SIGURO NI DUTERTE AY MAY MATINDI RING KAPANGYARIHAN TULAD NG KAY HESUS, BAKA ANG MGA DRUG LORDS AY NALUSAW NA!

ANG DEMONYO AY MAY PAKINABANG NA NAI-AMBAG SA LAYUNIN NG DIYOS DAHIL GINAMIT SIYA NITO UPANG SUBUKAN SI HESUS. DAPAT TANDAANG HINDI MALALAMAN KUNG MABUTI ANG GINAGAWA NG ISANG TAO KUNG WALANG MASAMANG PAGBABATAYAN. LAHAT NG BAGAY SA MUNDO AY DAPAT IBATAY SA IBA PA UPANG MALAMAN KUNG ANONG URI SIYA. HINDI MALALAMAN NG ISANG TAO, HALIMBAWA, NA SIYA AY MATANGKAD KUNG WALANG PANDAK! WALANG MASASABING MABANGO KUNG HINDI ALAM KUNG ANO ANG AMOY NG MABAHO!

AYON PA RIN SA BIBLIYA, KAHIT PINATAY NI CAIN SI ABEL AY HINDI SIYA TULUYANG ITINAKWIL NG DIYOS, BAGKUS AY NILAGYAN SIYA NG TATAK UPANG HINDI KUYUGIN NG IBANG TAONG MASASALUBONG NIYA NA NAKAALAM NG KANYANG GINAWA. GANOON DIN ANG GINAWA KAY ADAN AT EBA, PATI ANG ULUPONG NA PINALAYAS NA LANG SA HARDIN NG GETSEMANE, AYON SA ALAMAT TUNGKOL SA PARAISO NA NAKASAAD SA BIBLIYA. PALAGAY KO, KUNG TINULUYANG PATAYIN NG DIYOS ANG ULUPONG AT HINDI BASTA NA LANG PINALAYAS, BAKA ANG UGALING TRAIDOR NG TAO AY HINDI UMIIRAL NGAYON!

SA PANAHON NAMAN NGAYON, KAHIT ANG MGA NAGING ADIK AT PUSHER AY MINSAN DIN NAMAN SIGURONG NAGING MABAIT NA ANAK O ASAWA AT NAAKAY LANG NG MGA MASASAMANG KAIBIGAN O NAITULAK NG MASIDHING PANGANGAILANGAN. NAMATAY SILA DAHIL NANLABAN SA UMAARESTO O PINATAY MISMO NG DATI NILANG MGA AMONG POLICE NINJA AT IBA PANG DRUG PUSHER NA AYAW MAITURO…KAYA HUWAG ITURO SINA DUTERTE AT DE LA ROSA NA MAY PAKANA NG LAHAT.


FINALLY, HINDI HININGI NG BAWA’T TAO NA SIYA AY IPANGANAK SA MUNDO. DAHIL DIYAN, GANOON NA LANG SIGURO ANG  PAG-IYAK AT PAGPALAHAW NG BAGONG ISINILANG NA SANGGOL NANG MARAMDAMANG INILABAS SIYA SA MUNDO DAHIL NAAMOY NITO ANG MABANTOT NA MARUMING HANGIN, AT LALONG TUMINDI PA ANG KANYANG IYAK…PALUIN BA NAMAN SIYA GANOONG WALA NAMAN SIYANG KASALANAN AT KARARATING LANG NIYA SA MUNDONG MARUMI AT MAGULO!

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On Unloading of Emotional Burdens

Posted on Friday, 9 September 2016

ON UNLOADING OF EMOTIONAL BURDENS
By Apolinario Villalobos

Many people are very trusting that they don’t give a hoot as to whose shoulder they cry on every time they have a problem. Worse is the habit of some who cry in public which naturally attracts attention. But still worst are some, whose unburdening of emotions assumes violent countenance!

Some friends can be such today- FRIENDLY, but tomorrow, they may become your detractor, so woe to you after unburdening your problems to these unfaithful friends, as they now have a tight grip on your life. Those who cry for attention, get it at the expense of their privacy. In other words, those who unload their problems carelessly realize their mistake belatedly!

Another most common way of unloading emotions is by being loud…literally, to the extent of being foul-mouthed. On the lighter side, this may be the safest because aside from keeping your secrets to yourself, you don’t get to hurt or kill others. Still, such expression is bad…for what do you call invectives with plea to high heavens that others be damned?

But, what many UNCONSCIOUSLY do is that they are unloading emotional burdens to HIM in private….as they cry out to Him every time they feel pain while having a difficult early morning excretal session in the toilet due to a dysfunctional colon….as they cry out to Him in a urinal while trying to piss but suffer instead, because of gonorrhea…as they invoke His name while letting out a torrent of tears due to a gnawing toothache…as they hiss His name while  knocking at their head due to a skull-breaking migraine…even women who suddenly remembers His name while delivering in pain, shouts it… etc.

Finally, it should be observed that, while we CONSCIOUSLY unburden our emotional loads to others and profusely thank them afterwards for providing us a shoulder….ironically, we UNCONSCIOUSLY UNLOAD OUR PAIN TO HIM, WHOM WE FORGET TO THANK AFTERWARDS...THAT IS HOW INGRATE WE ARE!



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The Stereotyping of People based on First Impression

Posted on Friday, 2 September 2016

THE STEREOTYPING OF PEOPLE
BASED ON “FIRST IMPRESSION”
By Apolinario Villalobos

People have varied attitude and character, with the negative ones most often surfacing when they react to harrowing experience in the hands of others. Some people are just not patient enough to stand the ordeal of being ridiculed and downtrodden….as they have no saintly character. When they show unsavory reaction such as flaring up and to a point, cuss, they are marked as “bad”.  What is forgotten is the word, “provocation”. Simply put, had these hyper and “Type A” people, been not provoked, the flaring up or cussing, may have been avoided.

People who know about their being a “Type A”, take extra care not to be provoked as even their physician gives them such order. But for how long can their patience hold their senses together in a situation where they are confronted with inconsiderate people that make their blood pressure dangerously zoom up if they will not release the tension in the form of anger? There are also people who become momentarily blinded with anger resulting to a violent act on their part, or worst, their death due to heart attack! The “take it easy” from compassionate friends is easier said than done.

Some people try their best to generate a good “first impression” from others by showing their good side and many of them are expert in this farce. Some of them are the “saintly” church-going regulars who assume their true character upon reaching home. And, some still, who can act out this travesty in the best hypocritical way are the “kind” politicians who do all possible to land a post in the government as they go around kissing sweaty checks, embracing tobacco-reeking old folks, and shaking grimy hands when they campaign prior to election…but show their true color as they assume their office. In this regard, people would not just believe when allegations about their involvement in drug cases and ghost projects are exposed!



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Unsolicited Suggestions

Posted on Monday, 15 August 2016

UNSOLICITED SUGGESTIONS
By Apolinario Villalobos


  • IF YOU HAVE TASTED THE FOOD OFFERINGS OF A RESTAURANT AND YOU DISLIKE THEM, JUST DO NOT EVER STEP AGAIN ON ITS THRESHOLD.

  • IF YOU HAVE A FRIEND THAT YOU FOUND LATER TO HAVE NOT MET YOUR STANDARDS, KEEP A DISTANCE FROM HIM…BUT DO NOT HATE HIM AS HE DID NOT DO YOU ANY HARM IN ANY WAY. MOST ESPECIALLY, CONTINUE RESPECTING HIS PERSON.

  • IF YOU FIND THE PROGRAMS OF CERTAIN TV AND RADIO STATIONS OBNOXIOUS, JUST FORGET THAT THEIR CHANNELS EVER EXIST. DO NOT VIEW OR LISTEN TO THEM EVEN OUT OF CURIOSITY AND FILL YOUR HOME WITH RANTINGS AT THE SAME TIME AS YOU MIGHT DIE OF HEART ATTACK!

  • IF YOU DO NOT LIKE CERTAIN HISTORICAL FIGURES, BY ALL MEANS, RESPECT THEIR HAVING RESTED FOR A LONG TIME BY NOT MENTIONING THEIR NAMES TO FRIENDS JUST SO YOU CAN DELIGHTFULLY IMPLY THAT YOU HAVE READ THEIR BIOGRAPHY AND FURTHER GIVE AN IMPRESSION THAT YOU ARE A PROLIFIC READER.

  • IF YOU HONESTLY AND SECRETLY ADMIT TO YOURSELF THAT YOU CANNOT DO WHAT OTHERS CAN, DO NOT PULL THEM DOWN….JUST SIT ON THE FENCE AND GAWK AT THEM WHILE EATING YOUR HEART OUT, AS THEY GAIN PROGRESS BY THE DAY.

  • IF SERIOUS READING OF BROADSHEETS AND TABLOIDS IS NOT FOR YOU BUT YOU GOT NOTHING ELSE TO DO WHILE THEY ARE TEMPTINGLY LYING AROUND, READ THEM BACKWARD BY STARTING AT THE LAST PAGE, INSTEAD OF CURSING AN AIRLINE FOR YOUR DELAYED DEPARTURE, OR WAITING FOR YOUR NUMBER TO BE CALLED IN A BANK.

  • IF YOU ONLY WANT PHOTOS AND EASY-TO-VIEW COPY/PASTED OR SHARED BLOGS IN FACEBOOK, SKIP LONG ESSAYS AND POEMS THAT FB PAGE OWNERS POST ON THEIR SITE INSTEAD OF BASHING THE BLOGGER.  FOR ALL YOU KNOW, THERE COULD BE VIEWERS WHO APPRECIATE THEM, WITH SOME WHO MAY JUST BE SHY TO LET THE BLOGGER KNOW THAT THEY (VIEWERS) STUMBLED UPON THE BLOGS WHILE BROWSING THE PUBLIC POSTS, AND THAT OUT OF CURIOSITY WENT ON READING AND FINALLY RELIEVED SOMEHOW THAT THEY DID NOT PUKE AT THE END!...I LOVE THESE “SHY” VIEWERS….MAY THEIR GOD BLESS THEM!

  • IF YOU DO NOT BUY THE VIEWS OF A BLOGGER, COME UP WITH YOUR OWN TO EXHAUSTIVELY COUNTER THEM POINT BY POINT AND POST THEM ON YOUR OWN FB PAGE AS OTHER VIEWERS MAY LIKELY COME ACROSS THEM WHILE THEY BROWSE THE PUBLIC POSTS AND EVENTUALLY AGREE WITH YOU. THIS SHALL PREVENT THE UNNECESSARY EXCHANGES OF COMMENTS IN JUST ONE FB PAGE. BLOGS ARE VIEWS/IDEAS/OPINIONS OF THE BLOGGER. POSITIVE COMMENTS FROM APPRECIATIVE VIEWERS ABOUT THE BLOG OFTENTIMES CONTAIN REMINDERS THAT BECOME ENHANCERS FOR WHICH THE BLOGGER SHOULD BE THANKFUL.

  • IF YOU DO NOT WANT YOUR JOB….RESIGN! DO NOT TRY TO DESTROY THE COMPANY THAT SOMEHOW GAVE YOU A SALARY FOR YOUR SUSTENANCE UNTIL YOU FOUND LATER THAT IT IS NOT COMMENSURATE TO YOUR SKILL.

  • IF YOU DO NOT LOVE YOUR PARTNER ANYMORE, DO NOT BETRAY THE TRUST CONTAINED IN A CONTRACT THAT BOTH OF YOU SIGNED….JUST CUT THE STRING THAT CONNECT YOU WITH ALL FORMAL CIVILITY.  IN MANY INSTANCES, “SEPARATEDS” EVENTUALLY BECOME “BEST FRIENDS”. IN OTHER WORDS, THE MARRIAGE CONTRACT MAY HAVE BEEN THE “CONSTRICTING FACTOR” IN THEIR “TOGETHERNESS”…AFTER REALIZING FURTHER THAT WHAT THEY NEED IS ACTUALLY, A  “WIDEST POSSIBLE BREATHING SPACE”….OR SIMPLY SAID, THEY ARE NOT MEANT FOR EACH OTHER AS “HUSBAND” AND “WIFE” WHICH ENTAILS TOTAL “CONTROL” OVER EACH OTHER’S LIFE.


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Mabuti pa ang Aso, Matapat, Hindi Tulad ng Ilang Tao

Posted on Saturday, 13 August 2016

MABUTI PA ANG ASO MATAPAT
HINDI TULAD NG ILANG TAO
Ni Apolinario Villalobos

Mabuti pa ang aso, matapat sa kanyang tao
Hindi tulad ng ilang tao, taksil at manloloko
Hindi iiwanan ng aso ang kanyang tao
Sukdulan mang walang maipakain dito,
Hindi tulad ng ilang tao, nang-iiwan -
Kahit sino, kaibigan o kadugo man.

Maraming kuwento na ang ati’y napakinggan -
Taong iniligtas ng aso sa bingit ng kamatayan
Ang pagligtas ay sa maraming paraan
Nakakagulat at halos di mapaniwalaan
Kaya’t mabuti pa silang ang katalinuhan
Ay ginagamit sa tama at may kabuluhan.

Ang ilang tao naman ay nakakalungkot isipin –
Mismong magulang ay di mabigyang-pansin
Mayroon kasing magulang halos sipain
Ng mga anak, walang puso’t damdamin
Pagkatapos silang arugain at pag-aralin
Kawawang magulang kaya nang suwagin!

Marami pa ring tao, inasahan ng kaibigan nila  –
Forever friends sana sila mula noong bata pa
Subalit nang magkainggitan ay nalusaw na
Tila pagkit sa pagkadikit na friendship nila
Sa dahilang walang kuwenta’t nakakahiya -
Gawa-gawa ng naiinggit na friend din nila!







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When Friendship is Falsified and Abused

Posted on Monday, 28 March 2016

When Friendship is Falsified and Abused
By Apolinario Villalobos

Friendship can be tagged with related words such as congeniality, hospitality, love, trust, intimacy and many more synonyms that go with positive relationship between two and among many people.

The problem with some people is that they do not have the common sense of assessing their capacity to manifest friendship to the point of falsifying it, so that at the end, they feel bad if they think their congeniality has been abused. At the start, they should have restrained themselves from giving hints to others that their being “accommodating” is limitless. 

Manifestation of friendship may vary according to the degree of closeness and trust that one would like to show to their friends. In this regard, some friends may just be good for drinking sprees, some as buddies who can be trusted even with personal problems, some as sources of financial support, some as “escorts” in elitist occasions or ballroom dancing and some may be fortunately treated as best friends forever or “bff”.

On the other hand, some people abuse the friendship shown to them, especially, on the aspect of finances. They assume that because of friendship, they can always borrow money from their rich friends without even the courtesy of an excuse if they failed to pay back on time, though most often, they really have no intention of doing such. Some also, practically exploit their “friends” whose social status is lesser than theirs, by treating them as some kind of servants whose usefulness is good in doing errands, driving them around, cooking for them during special occasion at home, etc, but never brought along to discriminatory  parties of elite colleagues.

There are “true friends”, no doubt about that, but we should try to understand the extent of the sincerity in such kind of relationship. We should not feel bad, therefore, if we find out that we are left out during some occasions, or we do not know some goings on, finding them out only in photos posted on facebook. In other words, as already aforementioned, a person has a “fitting role” to play in the life of his or her friends depending on their need, and the former’s skill or character. That is a fact that should be accepted, for a Biblical legend says that even God has His own “chosen people”….His “true and trusted friends”….but who, at the end, betrayed His trust!


Nevertheless, one sure occasion that all kinds of friends can really bond together is the school reunion during which, even “enemies” during school days embrace, kiss and shed tears of excitement and joy that overshadow boxing and kicking bouts, spats and hair pulling incidents in the past!

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Barkada?...o Pamilya!

Posted on Sunday, 21 February 2016

Barkada?...o Pamilya!
Ni Apolinario Villalobos

Palaging napapag-alamang ang mga kabataang naliligaw ng landas ay inaakay pala ng mga barkada. Ito ang mga kabataang tin-edyer na mas nagtitiwala sa mga kabarkada kaysa mga magulang nila. Bibihirang mga kabataan ang may tiwala sa kanilang mga magulang na sana ay nakakaalam ng kanilang mga problema. Ang mga kabataang ito ay nasa yugto ng kanilang buhay kung saan ay nalilito sila dahil sa alanganin nilang kalagayan – HINDI NA sila bata na nakukuha sa pag-aalo, paglalambing, o pang-uuto ng mga magulang o nakakatandang kapatid, subalit  WALA PA RIN SILA sa tamang gulang upang magpasya para sa kanilang sarili. Kaya ang ginagawa na lang nila ay tumakbo sa kanilang mga kabarkada na kasing-gulang nila upang magkaroon ng “kakampi”.

Subalit iba ang kuwento kapag ang isang tao ay nasa wastong gulang na pero mas matimbang pa sa kanya ang kanyang barkada kaysa magulang at mga kapatid. Hindi maiiwasang magkaroon ng problema sa loob ng pamamahay sa pagitan ng mga miyembro ng pamilya na normal namang nangyayari. Pero kapag labis na ang nakikitang problema sa mga magulang halimbawa, dahil sa hindi nila magandang ugali o di kaya ay masamang bisyo, hindi mapipigilan ng isang anak na maghimutok at maghanap ng mapagpahingahan niya ng sama ng loob, na makikita niya sa katauhan ng isang barkada.

Ang isang halimbawa ng sitwasyong nabanggit ay tungkol sa isang taong nag-aabrod ng mahigit isang taon at umuuwi lamang upang magbakasyon ng dalawa o tatlong buwan. Tuwing uuwi ay hindi siya nakikitaan ng excitement dahill makakapiling uli niya ang kanyang mga magulang at mga kapatid. Nakilala ko siya dahil barkada siya ng isa kong pamangkin. Ayon sa taong ito, mula at sapol nang siya ay magtrabaho sa ibang bansa, wala nang alam na ipaabot sa kanya ang kanyang mga magulang at mga kapatid kundi huwag kalimutan ang kanilang pasalubong. Ni minsan ay hindi man lang daw niya naringgan ang mga ito ng mga salitang, “…mag-ingat ka sa biyahe mo pauwi”.

Kapag sumalubong daw sila sa airport ay pinipilit pa siyang mamili muna sa Tourist Duty Free Shop kahit pa sabihin niyang mag-SM na lang para makatipid. Hindi pa sila diretsong uuwi dahil kahit dis-oras na ng gabi ay maghahanap pa sila ng makakainang mahal na restaurant. Ang inaasahan niyang hindi nangyayari ay uuwi sana agad sila upang makapagpahinga siya at kakain ng paborito niyang pagkain na dapat sana ay iniluto ng kanyang nanay. At ang nangyayari pa, tuwing uuwi siya, sa loob ng dalawang araw ay halos pamimili daw ang ginagawa nila.

May kuwento pa ang kaibigan ng pamangkin ko na pinilit daw siya ng kanyang nanay na bumili ng isang condo…investment daw. Yon pala ay humabol lang ang nanay niya sa komisyon na makukuha dahil ang ahente ay kumare niya! Ang nakatira sa condo pagkatapos mabayaran ay mag-asawang kaibigan ng kanyang nanay na taga-Germany…libre, dahil sila naman daw ang tinitirhan ng nanay niya kapag bumisita siya sa Germany. Madalas ding patirhan ng nanay niya ang condo sa mga kamag-anak na balikbayan ng kanyang mga amiga. Ang pinakamasakit, nang pilitin niyang kunin ang papeles ng condo, ayaw ibigay ng nanay niya…yon pala, nakapangalan ito sa kanila ng tatay niya, at hindi sa kanya!

Nang tinanong ko ang kaibigan ng pamangkin ko kung may naipon siya sa bangko, ang sabi ay meron naman daw….Php80,000.00! Anim na taon na siyang nagtatrabaho sa Saudi…

Nitong huling pag-uwi ng taong tinutukoy ko, pinagpilitan niyang “magbakasyon” sa bahay ng barkada niya – sa pamangkin ko,  “for a change” daw. Dahil sa desisyon niya, sa airport pa lang ay nagtalo na sila ng nanay niya subalit wala itong magawa, kaya pagkatapos maibigay ang mga pasalubong na nakahiwalay ng lagayan ay sumakay na siya ng taxi papunta sa bahay ng kanyang barkada.





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Posted on Sunday, 14 February 2016

Farewell…Eboy
(for Eboy Jovida)
By Apolinario Villalobos

In this world you’ve ceased to live
But in our heart and mind
You shall linger with a smile -
And, it shall never fade in time.

You’ve tried to be the best you could -
Husband, father… friend
In songs you have crooned
Even the calm you well feigned.

Farewell…to the best father, farewell!
Friend, you’re a delight
Ride on the glory of our love
As you journey towards that Light! 







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Beyond the Horizon (for my great friend...Eboy Jovida)

Posted on Friday, 12 February 2016

Beyond the Horizon
(for my great friend… Eboy Jovida)
By Apolinario Villalobos

Just when you thought
The one step you have taken
Is your last
Do not despair.
Beyond the horizon
Are streaks of hope
That beckon
Pulling you
Towards a new dawn
Where life is not like
What you have been living
In the days that passed.
Beyond the horizon are challenges
That dare
Prodding you
To go on farther
Just be tough
In facing the world
That wallows in greed and lust
Be strong and you’ll make it –
Just don’t give up.


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Precious Moments with a Great Friend...Eboy Jovida

Precious Moments
with a Great Friend…Eboy Jovida (†)
By Apolinario Villalobos

The night of February 11, I had a vivid dream….Eboy was holding my book, “Beyond the Horizon”, opened to the page of the poem with the same title. He told me that we could convert it into a haunting song because of its message. As it was a poem, I told him that some lines need to be to be redone to jive with the melody that he was humming. While I was bringing out the laptop from my backpack, he was gone. As I was used to having dreams, I disregarded it, until I opened my emails at 3AM, February 12. What immediately caught my eyes was a message from Ate Mai with a subject that spelled the real name of Eboy with a cross in parenthesis. Even without reading what the message was all about, I had a strong premonition that it was not just good….he’s gone.

Eboy was a great guy. Despite his being bedridden, he always had a time spent in reading my blogs and he saw to it that he could at least let me know that he was following me by typing, “great, Bot”. Twice, he typed rumbled letters which I tried to decipher with difficulty. In our PMs, he told me that he was alright. If he could not send comments, he would indicate the “like”, and that was a good sign for me that everything was indeed, alright.

Moments with him a little more than a year before  he and his family relocated to the States were serious and hilarious. As I was yet able to indulge in rounds of alcoholic drinks during the time, we would enjoy bottles of beer in their home in a subdivision in Habay, Bacoor while singing American folk songs to our hearts content. If he got tired of plucking the guitar, I would take over with my strumming. Being musician by heart, he would provide the “second voice”. Our favorite was, “The Boxer” by Simon and Garfunkel. If we became melancholic, he would bring out his flute for which I provided plucked notes in the guitar as a background. Sometimes, I would bring my harmonica on which I would play “Wooden Heart”, and he would distort the lyrics, while singing them, to make the song funny.

One time, while enjoying our rounds of beer, there was a heavy downpour. We looked at each other and almost simultaneously said, “ligo tayo sa ulan”. He lent me one of his shorts and we dashed outside to enjoy the rain.  During my visits, Aileen, his pretty wife, would be in the office and the kids would be in school. But I was lucky one day, when Aileen was at home during which she cooked my favorite “laswa”, a Visayan veggie dish. Those visits were what Eboy recalled when he sent me a long message, several days before his operation.

I usually do not join exchanges of thumb ups and messages via the PAL pools that Ate Mai organized, though I would monitor them as I preferred to send personal/private messages to Eboy. The last reply I got from him was a thumb up. From then on, he stopped sending me such reply. I had a feeling something went awry when I read a message that he was brought back to the ICU….