Showing posts with label divorce. Show all posts

ON FRIENDLY AND INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS

By Apolinario Villalobos

Both relationships mentioned in the title are founded on “trust”. However, trust sometimes is established haphazardly, without even checking thoroughly the kind of a person with whom it is established. Some people may discover too late that their “best friend” cannot be trusted al all, as some, come out to be innately insecure. Some couples may also discover that their partner is not really “sincere” as expected, despite the signed marriage documents, and worse, discovery is made after having several offspring. This situation is what dissatisfied partners as “hellish life”.

Another act that spoils the relationship is the “abuse” of either party. The one who commits the act selfishly presumes that anything can be done to the trusting friend or intimate partner. Initially, there would be tolerance “for friendship’s sake”. But in time, such abuse may no longer be tolerated and expectedly results to the severance of relationship.

Abuse on the part of a partner who commits the act is hidden or camouflaged by a “merry intent” or “joke”, though, in reality, the intention is to humiliate the trusting and unsuspecting friend or partner in front of others. This happens most often to friends and partners whose success is not acceptable to the offender due to envy. I know this because I am in touch with people who are victims, and until now are languishing in regret for having wasted their lives in the company of insecure people. 

ANG KASAL AT ANG MARRIAGE CONTRACT

Ni Apolinario Villalobos

Kung ang lahat ng kontrata ay may mga condition at expiration, dapat ang marriage contract ay meron din. Subalit dapat bigyan ng pagkakataon ang mga kinakasal na balewalain ang expiration kung gusto nilang magsama habang-buhay. Dapat ay may mga condition din ito na batayan ng automatic na pagbabalewala sa kontrata kahit hindi pa umabot sa expiration. Para sa mga mayayaman ay proteksiyon ng mga ikinasal ang mga condtion upang hindi mapagsama ang mga ari-arian nila bago sila ikasal at ang expiration  ay para sa walang gulong hiwalayan kung nagkasawaan na sa isa’t isa.

Kung hindi rin lang masunod ang mga nabanggit dapat ay palitan ang pantukoy o titulo ng dokumento. Sa halip na “contract” dapat ay tawagin itong “COMMITMENT AND ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF CEREMONY” dahil ang basic na laman nito ay ang “pangako” sa isa’t isa ng dalawang ikinasal na “magsasama habang buhay, sa hirap at ginhawa”….kahit hindi binanggit na ang pagsasama ay umabot sa umbagan, sakalan, tadyakan, saksakan…..kawawa daw kasi ang mga anak nila kung sila ay maghiwalay. At, lalo’t higit ay kahit umabot sa pag-abandona ng lalaki sa pamilya niya dahil nagbahay ng isang mas sariwa at mabangong itini-table niya sa paboritong beer house….at kahit umabot din sa pagpendeho sa lalaki na iniwan ng asawang malandi at makati kaya sumama sa isang machong tricycle driver o pulis.

Dapat ding tawaging “acknowledgment” ang dokumento dahil ito ang magpapatunay na nang ikasal ang magsing-irog, sila ay nasa katinuan ng kanilang pag-iisip….hindi bangag sa bawal na gamot, hindi lasing, at walang tutukan ng baril na nangyari.

Ang presidente ng Pilipinas ay pwede nang manumpa ng tungkuling pangako sa harap ng isang Barangay Chairman, kaya dapat ay pwede na ring magkasal ang nasabing LGU official. Ang taong nagkakasal ang pangunahing saksi sa pangakong magsasama sa dalawang ikinasal, ang mga ninong at ninang ay suporta lamang. Ganoon din ang nangyayari kung pari ang nagkasal, subalit sinasabi na kung sa simbahan ginawa ang seremonya, ang pangunahing saksi ay ang Diyos o si Hesus. Sa isang banda, kung ang Diyos o si Hesus ay nasa paligid at hindi limitado ang presensiya sa loob lang ng simbahan , sila ay nasa  beach din, restaurant, events venue, lugar ng mga casino tulad ng Las Vegas, basketball court, etc. kung saan ay ginagawa ang Christian ceremony. Ang problema nga lang dito ay ang pirmahan sa “contract” na walang expiration dahil ang ibang nagpapakasal ay nadala lang ng damdamin kaya makalipas lang ang ilang buwan o taon ay nag-uumbagan ang “magsing-irog”  dahil walang maisaing na bigas o di kaya ay dahil sa selos!

Olive’s Life…a story of love and compassion

(for Olive Asong)

By Apolinario Villalobos

Here’s a story that I hope will open the eyes and mind of those who claim to be Catholic but whose acts are wanting of its essence.

The first time I saw her was when she was just about four years old in the care of his father who diligently and lovingly attended to her needs as a growing child. Her mother left them to work abroad. She practically grew up till her teen-aged years with her father by her side, as her mother came home only when her “schedule would permit”, being a pianist in music lounges.

Loneliness drove her father to find intimate relationship with other women. Despite the “un-Christian” ways of her father in the eyes of the devoutly Catholic, she did not condemn him. This she did to reciprocate the honesty of her father who did not hide anything from her.

When her parents parted ways, she maintained her compassionate understanding of her father’s ways until the latter got sick beyond recuperation. She practically shed tears and humbly implored her mother to reconnect with her father. When finally, forgiveness was uttered by her mother, she unabashedly announced it to the world to let go of the overpowering emotion in her heart.

Not only did she reconnected her father to her mother, but she also gave recognition to her “other” siblings that they deserve. She lovingly refers to them as her “extended family”. In the company of her stepmother, she brought the remains of her father to his hometown for internment. In front of relatives, she announced her unconditional love to her stepmother and her half-sister. Her act was followed by the rest – relatives and friends who welcomed her “extended family”.

Unconsciously, Olive did what the people’s pope, Francis, has been asking for the whole Christian flock to do – be compassionate to others and love them unconditionally.

Olive is a baptized Catholic, the essence of which is Universal. In my simple understanding, one can only be one, if he takes down the walls of hypocrisy around him. To love like a Catholic means having no borders around…without laying down conditions. Questions should never be asked before a Catholic extends a hand of compassion to others. A Catholic should never ask a hungry stranger if he is also a Catholic before a few coins can be given to him. And, a Catholic should never ask somebody if he has sinned before he can become a friend!

What Olive did is more than what the people’s pope, Francis has been asking his flock to do….