Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts

Companionship and Marriage

By Apolinario Villalobos

“Marriage” for the Roman Catholic Church is founded on the principle surrounding the opposite sexes and this should be respected. Those who do not agree should join other religious communities that have a different belief, But for me, the ceremony is not even a guarantee that the relationship of heterosexual couple pledging, “till death do us part” could really last that long. In this regard, legal separation and divorce have been conceived. I believe that love is the essence of the lifetime companionship that applies even to those with same sex. Marriage is man-made and sometimes, even performed for convenience. On the other hand, commitment resulting from companionship with mutual respect and understanding, is naturally developed and gets “ripe” in time between partners, hence, become deeply-imbedded in their emotion.

If the Philippine government will not legalize “same- sex marriage”, the LGBT community should not feel dejected as the members can just go on living together…nobody can stop them from doing so. Meanwhile, they have the choice to cover themselves with legal documents as regards their common properties and other expectations. It should be noted that even affluent heterosexual couples sign documents that stipulate conditions about their properties before their wedding ceremony. As regards their family that would include children later on, they can resort to adoption of blood relations, such as nephews or nieces, or even offspring of strangers, and this is where orphanages and state welfare agency, such as the Department of Social Welfare (DSW) come in.

Members of the LGBT community should open their mind to the hurting fact that not all nations understand their situation. This is the reason why same-sex couples resort to living in countries where their relationship is legally recognized. Fortunately, to date, many Filipinos recognize same-sex relationship that gave rise to many Christian Churches in the country, and which are extending utmost compassion and understanding to it.  

Ceremony that would bind the relationship may still be performed to formalize the commitments of the same- sex couple, but should not include or imply anything that got to do with that of the traditional Roman Catholic Church’s, though, the Universal Lord may still be invoked, as witness.

Finally, for couples, respect to each other is most vital for a lasting relationship….love is born out of respect. LUST manifests the absence of such.

ON FRIENDLY AND INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS

By Apolinario Villalobos

Both relationships mentioned in the title are founded on “trust”. However, trust sometimes is established haphazardly, without even checking thoroughly the kind of a person with whom it is established. Some people may discover too late that their “best friend” cannot be trusted al all, as some, come out to be innately insecure. Some couples may also discover that their partner is not really “sincere” as expected, despite the signed marriage documents, and worse, discovery is made after having several offspring. This situation is what dissatisfied partners as “hellish life”.

Another act that spoils the relationship is the “abuse” of either party. The one who commits the act selfishly presumes that anything can be done to the trusting friend or intimate partner. Initially, there would be tolerance “for friendship’s sake”. But in time, such abuse may no longer be tolerated and expectedly results to the severance of relationship.

Abuse on the part of a partner who commits the act is hidden or camouflaged by a “merry intent” or “joke”, though, in reality, the intention is to humiliate the trusting and unsuspecting friend or partner in front of others. This happens most often to friends and partners whose success is not acceptable to the offender due to envy. I know this because I am in touch with people who are victims, and until now are languishing in regret for having wasted their lives in the company of insecure people. 

Wedding Anniversaries and their Symbols

Researched by: Apolinario Villalobos

1^st        -paper

2^nd        -cotton

3^rd        -leather

4^th        -fruit, flowers

5^th        -wood

6^th        -sugar, candy

7^th        -wool, copper

8^th        -bronze, pottery

9^th        -pottery

10^th      -tin

11^th      -steel

12^th      -silk, linen

13^th      -lace

14^th      -ivory

15^th      -crystal

20^th      -china (ceramic items)

25^th      -silver

30^th      -pearl

35^th      -coral

40^th      -ruby

45^th      -sapphire

50^th      -gold

55^th      -emerald

75^th      -diamond

Noticeably, after the 15^th anniversary, there are five years gap between the anniversaries, thereafter, until the 55^th which has a gap of 20 years before the final which is the 75^th. Personally, my view is perhaps, to give time for the husband to save enough money for a more elaborate celebration. As for the long gap between the 55^th and 75^th, perhaps, it is some sort of a standby period to check the couple’s endurance to live in this chaotic world.

A word of caution, though, for the husband: do not give as gift to the wife, a roll of toilet paper on the first year anniversary, cotton balls on the second year, and a leather dog collar or a leather chastity belt on the third year.

This observance is rooted on the ancient practice of the pagans and handed down the subsequent cultures. Admirably, today we sometimes come across stories of couples with both the husband and wife in their respective wheelchair happily holding hands and being pushed solemnly down the aisle toward the altar for their renewal of vows, on the occasion of their 75^th wedding anniversary…in a Catholic church. I am just glad that “My Way” is not sung during this ceremony.

Love is Sweetest

…the second time around

(for Sol and Rod Retaga)

By Apolinario Villalobos

I saw Sol first along the highway outside our subdivision many years ago and was impressed by her dusky beauty, always smiling, yet. I did not know that she was our neighbor. Later on, because of our homeowners’ association, we became close, especially because she was also active in our projects just like me. What impressed me was her being down-to-earth, easy to get along with and most especially, her husky singing voice that she can manage to fit any style. I learned that she was working in a bank, but found still later on that she also moonlighted as a lounge singer.

She was a picture of happiness and contentment with her husband, Rey and their two children. But it was cut short by her husband’s death during the early part of the 80’s. Despite the loss, she moved on and took the misfortune as some kind of a challenge. From then on, she worked harder as a single parent, with her mother lending a hand.

Nobody knew about her colorful love life until she got married again, this time to Rod, a former classmate in third year high school (Jose Abad Santo High School/Arellano University – Pasay City).

Sol shared that Rod was her best friend in high school, and who provided her instrumental accompaniment every time she sang in their programs. The intense love for music made Rod decide to pursue his musical career after graduating from high school. At 18, he joined a band that had contracts abroad. Rod decided to pursue his studies in 1975, during which time, the two met again, although Sol was already married to Rey, her boyfriend of 8 years.

Since 1986 Sol had been helping her alumni association organize their annual reunion, by tracing the whereabouts of their former schoolmates. In 1999, for the 2000 Grand Reunion, while checking directories, she came across the name of Rod’s brother. Instinctively, she requested that the information about their reunion be relayed to him. She even wrote to Rod but got no reply. Then one day, she received a call from Taiwan and found out later that it was Rod who divulged that she just got divorced from his Taiwanese wife. He had three kids.

From then on, Rod would call and they talked for five to six hours. He was still with the band, performing in clubs and other joints, while she was still connected with a bank in the Ayala district of Makati City. As fate would have it, she decided to resign from the bank and joined Rod in Taiwan. Their common denominator was love for music which made them decide to get married, for which Rod was given the blessing by his children. As for Sol, her two children who have families of their own, were more than glad that they were getting a “brand new father”. Their marriage was very simple, no fanfare. They just wanted to tie the knots in public, among friends and relatives on hand, to show how sincere they were for the belated vow. That was in March 24, 2001.

Rod and Sol are still in Taiwan singing together and bowed to do it for as long as their God-given talent will allow them. Life can be mysterious, at times….and with love, Rod and Sol proved that it can be sweetest, not only sweeter, the second time around.