Showing posts with label sincerity. Show all posts

SINCERE FRIENDSHIP

By Apolinario Villalobos

The best way to realize or put into practice our purpose in life is by befriending the needy…reaching out to them. The needy do not need millions or thousands or hundreds of pesos. All they need are handfuls of rice, few pieces of coins, old but still wearable clothes, slippers, and so many other things that most of us just throw away or leave to rot in the backyard or stockroom.

But many people WOULD RATHER befriend affluent or influential people who are friends of their friends, friends of these friends, still friends of these friends, and so on. They exert all efforts to find connections that they can use to realize their selfish motive of riding on the fame or worse, benefit from the financial affluence of other people. Sometimes this happens during the christening of children. Some parents endeavor to include influential people in the long list of godparents, for obvious reasons already mentioned, other than what is expected of them as “second parents” of the godchildren. Along this line, some couples, also, ask friends who know mayors or barangay chairmen or other local officials to stand as sponsors during their wedding, for the same aforementioned reason. In other words, many would like to befriend people for selfish motives, most especially, for prestige and financial security.

In this regard, even the mass weddings sponsored by mayors, and which are viewed by many as done with sincerity, are in fact used as a political tool. For delicadeza’s sake, the mayor could have just spent for the snacks and pay the honorarium of the conducting priest or pastor or minister, AND ASSIGN ANY OF HIS NON-POLITICAL STAFF TO STAND AS SPONSOR, PERHAPS, THE REGISTER OF DEEDS, CHIEF OF THE REVENUE OFFICE, ETC. What happens is that, when election time comes, these “inaanak” become the campaigners for their “ninong mayor”…a puking reality! Truth is, there is not even a slight trace of sincere friendship out of the said “connection”, as several days after the ceremony, the “ninong mayor” may not even remember the names of those for whom he stood as “ninong”. This is about “mass wedding”, not the wedding of people who are personal acquaintances of the mayor. This happens most often in slum areas and barangays or remote villages and towns. So, there’s your “friendly” mayor just because he is sponsoring “mass wedding” using people’s money!

Prestige and security in life can be possibly achieved even without employing make-believe friendship with prominent personalities. True friendship with a REAL PURPOSE should be initiated by a person with utmost sincerity without any taint of selfishness. On the other hand, those who belong to the lower stratum of society should never dream of gaining the friendship of people who belong to the upper, and whom they do not know personally. One should endeavor to earn recognition instead of gaining it through connections. To call people who do not know you personally as “friends” is embarrassing enough. In plain language it is “name dropping”. It should also be noted that friendship is supposed to be a “two-way” relationship…with sincerity from both sides.

A Wishful Prayer

…of a timid soul

By Apolinario Villalobos

Lord…

How I wish the hands of time

can be turned back to the day you rested

after you created the universe

and everything in it;

How I wish to see the paradise

that you intended for man

with all the creatures that lived in harmony

and where there’s no hunger nor thirst;

How I wish the world we live in now

may have a day of respite

from all the restlessness

brought about by our greed;

How I wish the advocates of your love

be given strength a thousand times

so that they may continue reaching out

to those who desire to go back to your fold.

This is not the last of prayers

from my timid heart that beats with hope…

Amen.

On Being a True Filipino

By Apolinario Villalobos

It takes a lot of nationalistic fervor before one can honestly claim that he or she is truly a Filipino. It is not enough that one is born of Filipino parents on Philippine soil, or in other countries, with either of the parents, a Filipino. It is not enough that one can sing the “Lupang Hinirang” with utmost sincerity or recite the “Panatang Makabayan” by heart.

Nationalism is best seen in times of tragedy, calamity, catastrophe – misfortunes that call for sharing and compassion. Being a Filipino is not the exploitation of the victims who are already neck-deep in distress. It is not the betrayal of trust given by the electorate to the glib-tongued politicos. The more, that it is not the filching of the people’s money by unscrupulous government officials and their cohorts.

A Filipino is one who toils in foreign lands, so that he or she can send money back home to his family who may then be empowered to make purchases, which at the end, benefits the government. He or she is the Green Card holder in the United States who does not cringe in shame due to the bad image of the country. He or she takes time to explain that the Philippine Republic is just a victim of unabated corrupt practices committed by “hardened” members of dynastic political families. He or she never say that the American system is better than what the Philippines is having now, as there are clear indications that Filipinos with good intentions are joining hands to remedy the situation.

There is still a desire in the heart of a Filipino who lives in other countries to go back to the Philippines where he or she had a first lungful breathe of air. A true Filipino misses the fiestas, colorful and jolly Christmas – noche buena, nightly caroling of children, dawn or evening Mass, and noisy New Year. The heart of a true Filipino aches for weekend jaunts and unannounced visits from friends. The true Filipino abroad misses the “bagoong”, “ginamos”, “pinakbet”, “laing”, “lechon”, etc.

A true Filipino who works abroad, never forgets to fill a “balikbayan box” with goodies bought from flea markets and garage sales, such as “Gucci” (kuno), shoes, watches, used laptops, toothpaste, Ivory soap, coffee, bars of chocolate, etc. – symbol of their love for those left in the Philippines. And, a true Filipino does not hesitate to come out in a video to denounce the nincompoop government officials who do not know what they are doing, such as those who occupy the agencies involved in raising funds every time an election is forthcoming.

A true Filipino bravely accepts faults and limitations, as he or she knows that such honesty can give him impetus to exert more effort for the better. Most especially, he or she does not pretend to be intelligent!

And who are not the Filipinos but still insist they are? These are the inept in the government, the heartless and uncompassionate hypocrites. These are the glib-tongued who betrayed the trust and confidence of the poor. These are the “political butterflies”, with the habit of changing their color depending on the party that they think is strong and can help them filch money from the government later on!

Mga Diretsahang Usapin tungkol sa

Panlabas na Kaanyuan at Imahe ng Tao

Ni Apolinario Villlalobos

Sa diretsahang salita, ang isang ugali ng ibang Pilipino ay ang pagtingin sa panlabas na kaanyuan ng kapwa. Ibig sabihin, maganda lamang ang pakisama nila sa mga kaibigang mamahalin ang kasuutan, may kotse, maganda ang bahay, at lalo na kung may mataas na katungkulan sa trabaho kaya napapakinabangan nila.

Akala ko noon ay gawa-gawang mga kuwento lamang ang naririnig ko tungkol sa mga taong retirado na dating may mataas na tungkulin sa mga kumpanya, na kung pumasyal sa dating opisina ay halos wala nang pumapansin. Karaniwan sa mga retirado ay gustong maaliwalas ang pakiramdam kaya naka-walking shorts lamang at t-shirt kung mamasyal, ibang-iba sa long-sleeved na barong tagalog o long-sleeved polo shirt with matching necktie noong nagtatrabaho pa sila. Ang pinaka-“disenteng” damit na presko para sa kanila nang mag-retire na ay maong at polo shirt lamang. Dahil sa pagbabago sa kanilang pananamit, nagbago na rin ang pagtingin sa kanila ng ibang mga dating kasama sa opisina, makita man sila sa labas o di kaya ay sa hindi nila inaasahang pagdaan sa dating opisina.

Ang isa kong nakausap namang kare-retire lang ay bumili pa ng kotse ganoong halos ay igagarahe lang pala. Ang sabi niya, mabuti daw yong may nakikita sa garahe niya para hindi isipin ng mga kapitbahay na naghihirap na siya, dahil wala na siyang trabaho. At upang ma-maintain din daw niya ang image niya bilang executive sa dating pinapasukan kung siya ay maalalang maimbitahan kung may okasyon. Bandang huli ay nagsisi lang siya nang madagdagan ang maintenance drugs niya para sa cholesterol at diabetes, kaya lumaki ang kanyang gastos lalo na at hindi naman umabot sa sampung libo ang kanyang pensiyon.

May isa namang nagkuwento na dating nagtrabaho sa sa isang airline. Proud daw sa kanya ang mga kamag-anak  at mga kaibigan niya. Subalit nang mag-resign siya, ang iba sa kanila ay umiba rin ang pagtingin sa kanya. Yong isa niyang kaibigan ay nahuli daw niya mismo sa bibig kahit pabirong sinabi nito na wala na raw siyang pakinabang. Noon kasi ay naikukuha pa niya ang pamilya ng kaibigan niya ng discounted tickets sa mga travel agents kung mag-abroad sila, at nakakagawa din daw siya ng paraan kung may problema sila sa booking upang hindi ma-bump off.

Kung lumabas ako ng bahay, mas gusto kong naka –walking shorts at nakasuot ng t-shirt dahil pawisin ako. Nang minsang may nag-text sa akin upang mag-imbita sa isang kilalang restaurant, sinabi kong hindi pwede dahil sa suot ko. Sabi niya okey lang dahil wala naman daw dress code sa nasabing restaurant, kaya pumunta na ako. Nasa restaurant na ako nang malaman kong may iba pala siyang bisita. Sa simula pa lamang, naramdaman ko na ang malabnaw na pagpansin nila sa akin dahil siguro sa suot ko, kaya animo ay tanga akong nanahimik lamang habang nag-uusap sila. Tiyempo namang  binati ako ng manager ng nasabing restaurant na natandaan pala ako nang maging resource speaker sa isang tourism seminar kung saan ay isa siyang participant. Nagulat ang lahat lalo na ang nag-imbita sa akin. Dahil narinig ko naman ang pag-uusap ng grupo na gamit ay “Barok English”, sinadya kong kausapin ang manager sa tamang English. Noon pa lang sila parang naalimpungatan, lalo na nang inimbita ako ng manager sa office niya. Iniwan ko silang nakanganga!

Ang mga leksiyon dito ay:  huwag husgahan ang kapwa batay sa panlabas niyang kasuutan at huwag ding patalo sa pangambang maliitin tayo ng ating kapwa dahil sa ating kasuutan na naaayon sa ating nararamdaman o kasalukuyang kalagayan. Ang payo ko naman sa mga mayayabang at walang utang na loob na mga “kaibigan” ay palaging isipin ang “Ginintuang Kasabihan” o Golden Rule, upang hindi bumalandra sa kanila ang ginagawa nilang hindi maganda sa kanilang kapwa…at lalong huwag gawin ang pakikipagkaibigan upang makinabang lamang!

Emotional Blackmail and Sincere Sharing

By Apolinario Villalobos

Ever wonder why some people find it hard to confide their real feeling and situation or what they do? It is alleged that the reason is their fear that others will not understand them anyway, or that, they will just be ridiculed. On the other hand, I thought that these people are just secretive and selfish, until I experienced it myself.

The strange-sounding “emotional blackmail” was blatantly said to me by no less than a person who I thought was with me always. One day, when I told her what transpired when I was with my friends in a depressed area, she told me pointblank that I was blackmailing her emotionally. At first, I did not comprehend what she meant, until I consulted a friend. He told me that the person close to me must be presuming that I was giving her reasons to help me financially in my advocacy. In other words, I was soliciting her financial sympathy. That was how she, perhaps, understood my intention, although, there was nothing to it but just to share for her to know, as I thought she was close to me.

From then on, I became wary about sharing with others, significant incidents every time I visit my friends in slums. It came to a point that despite pressures by some friends on me to divulge what I really do every time I take the road to do my random sharing, not much is shared in my blogs. It is enough to let trusted friends know that I have shared with the less unfortunate whatever excess I have in my pocket and what others contribute.

My intention in sharing my experiences is purely to inspire. I do not want to make viewers think that their emotions are being pinched. Unfortunate people are not only found in the Philippines or Manila for that matter, but anywhere in the world. I just want to let viewers know that all they need to do is open their eyes and look around wherever they are, for fellow men who need help in any way. However, for some select followers of my blogs and who I know to be on the same plane with me, I do not hesitate to expound on my advocacy. As I could feel their sincerity, I allow them to have a glimpse of what I do, as I answer their queries through discreet messages.

I must admit, though, that strangers but considered “fb friends” and “blog followers” are sending tokens of charity or directly involve themselves in what I do. For instance, a Belgian follower in one of my sites sent euro for the sidewalk kids of Avenida; a couple in  Cebu sent help for a family in Baseco Compound; an elderly couple adopted a former teen-aged prostitute I met in Avenida, and sent her to school; a Filipina in the States sends books; another Filipina still in the States sent her long-kept peso saved from a previous vacation in the Philippines; a retired couple regularly shares interest earned by their money in the bank to help me with my expenses; and a balikbayan couple spent for the bus fares and allowances of three families who went home to Tacloban. These are just some of the angelic acts that helped many unfortunate souls. Those friends learned about the needs from what I shared through blogs. Unfortunately, some still have the temerity to ridicule my effort knowing that I have limited financial capability which I must honestly admit.  Their view is that, I am not supposed to be doing all those things because I cannot do them on my own. What they do not know is that, in the beginning, I only relied on what I had, and that is how I made the ball start to roll…. successfully.

It is interesting to note that some people cannot understand what “random sharing or charity” means…that it is about unplanned, on-the-spot sharing of what is available and affordable, without declaring the identity of the giver, and without the selfie-shots of the cellphone camera, recording all those acts… and, that it is about blending with the people being helped to the extent of partaking of their meals as necessary, or sleeping with them on the sidewalk.

At the end, I just console myself with the thought that I am not alone in this kind of sharing advocacy. I see young evangelists who visit depressed areas to share the Good News from the Bible, and with only a few pesos in their pocket for fare back home. I learned that some of them make do with Skyflakes biscuit to stave off hunger while snaking their way through muddy side streets and alleys.

But, what touched me most was when a scavenger shared with me a partly spoiled pineapple that he painstakingly peeled and delicately sliced to get rid of the spoiled portion. To show my appreciation, I bought four pieces of Skyflakes biscuits – two for each of us to go with the foraged pineapple.

To keep me going, I just keep on telling myself that if others can do it, I can do it, too…share what is affordable. And, that for me is what I call simple but sincere sharing…that we need not be rich to let others feel how we care for them. Most importantly, sharing such experiences with others does not necessarily mean that their help is being solicited, but is just meant to inspire them to do the same for others near or around them, if they have the time and a extra coins in their pocket. What I am doing is letting them know that they need not walk or look far to find people who need help.

To Be a Conduit or Instrument

In sharing Relief among the Needy

By Apolinario Villalobos

If only, the objective of being a conduit or instrument of sharing relief is substantially put to practice with all honesty, there could be no Napoles cases today. Some people made use of poverty as the base of their flourishing businesses in the form of NGOs and Foundations. Some of these even invoke God and religious affinity in their effort to put up a credible image.

Big time groups operate with professional precision, thereby, affording them to work with the government and even international charitable private institutions. The small groups on the other hand, make do with personal approach to unsuspecting kindhearted fellowmen who readily shell out bills to be stuffed into envelops on which is printed the unscrupulous name of the formers’ organizations. The small groups ply their trade as Christmas season is approaching and after a major calamity has struck the country, the better for them to solicit.

In contrast to the aforementioned mode of operations, are the random sharers and instruments of blessings who act in all honesty and sincerity. Some of these people work individually, while the rest organize themselves into small groups and pool resources from their own pockets or discreet donations of close friends and relatives. When they do their acts, they become incognitos, as what is foremost in their minds is their purpose of sharing the blessings.

All it needs for one to become a sincere instrument or conduit of blessings are the selfless determination, heartfelt concern for others, and of course, time. Shared blessings are not only material commodities but the spiritually enriching messages from the Bible, as man is not just of flesh, but of spirit as well. Along this line, I admire the evangelists who risk their lives in going to depressed areas some of which are said to be nesting ground of hoodlums.

Anybody can be an instrument or conduit of goodness without leaving the home and community. By just being nice to your family and neighbors, you become what God wants you to be…. a creation in His own image.