By: Apolinario B. Villalobos

Seven Suggested “Don’ts”

1.      Do not accumulate worldly materials beyond your need. Most people adhere to the notion that the more worldly materials they have in life the more they become secure. And for them, these accumulated materials manifest success in life, too. It is the reason why these people become compulsive buyers and collectors  of things that take their fancy – things that they can show off. Unknowingly, by doing so, they are developing some kind of fear of not having things that they want which further develops into insecurity, and worse, attachment to these worldly things making them reluctant to accept death knowing that they are leaving their accumulated wealth behind.

2.      Do not play “God” to others. Some people try their best “to guide” others to  

      do good. Unfortunately, they themselves are doing things the wrong way. It is

      like telling friends: follow what I say, but do not follow what I do.

3.      Do not depend on someone or something for happiness. Some people attribute their happiness to their success in job, kind of family, friends, wealth, etc. As a result, when they lose their job, it is as if life has ended for them, or when  their marriage has failed, for them the only way to end the misery is to commit suicide, or when close friends have left them, they felt there is   nobody to run to when problems crop up, or when their savings have dwindled, they felt as if they have suddenly become poor. Just take things in stride.

4.      Do not “mark” people. Do not ask others what province they came from, or  

      what their jobs are, or where they live. Accept people as what they are.     

      Purportedly, we ask people about their background so that we will know how 

      to “adjust”  to their kind of personality. Unconsciously, however, the one

      reason why we do that is to make sure that we are better than them. It is  

      when we have known their background that we begin to blame these for  

      their faults.

5.      Do not think that you can never do any good. Believe in what you can do. As

      you wake up in the morning, do not ever think that you are too tired to do  

      things for the day or that you are not just in the mood to do some things for  

      the day. If you develop the habit about negating your capabilities, such will

      stick to your personality, which can later on drag you down.

6.      Do not attach your emotions to any worldly materials. Learn how to part with your “valuables” so that you will not be depressed afterwards. Console yourself with the thought that you have made a sacrifice to make others happy.

7.      Do not be impressed by external beauty – the made up faces on magazine covers. Most importantly, do not compare how you look with these images. Each one of us is unique. Beauty emanates from inside of us and the impression depends on how we manifest them through our speech, actions, etc. Beauty can be equated with gracefulness and tactfulness. If one feels blessed or enlightened, tranquility is shown on his or her face and that is when beauty is manifested and impressed on others.

1.      Talk to yourself. At least once a day, especially, before arising from bed, try to contemplate on what you have done the day before and evaluate them whether they were good or  bad. Did you hurt somebody’s feelings? Did you exploit somebody to your own advantage? Etc. As an exercise, face yourself in the mirror and talk to yourself. Scold yourself if you found that you have done something wrong. The best measure for this is the “Golden Rule”  which simply put, is your not wanting bad done to you, hence, you should not do something bad to others, too. If indeed you have wronged others, make amends.

2.      Let go…! Let go of whatever bad thoughts you have about others. Try  

replacing  these thoughts with the goodness that these “others” have done,  

not  necessarily to you, but to others. You may go to the extent of presuming

that they have done something good to others. It can’t hurt you.

3.      Be contented… with the kind of friends you have. You may extend a helping 

hand in such a subtle way as to imply that they need to change their ways. Do not impose yourself on them for they will surely be turned off.

4.      Listen to your conscience. Man was created by God as an intelligent being, hence, with the ability to know what is good or bad. And, as our integral part, we have our conscience – our inner self that always tells us what is good for us. Unfortunately, our physical self always plays the villain. That is why, there exists the so-called “mind vs. body” struggle. With a simple vice as smoking for instance, our conscience tells us that it is bad but our physical craving tells us to go ahead. It is therefore, worthwhile to listen once in a while to what our conscience says, and discipline in this regard will determine, how far we can go.

5.      Visualize. You can be what you want to be. As earlier mentioned, the impression that you give depends on what is going on in your mind. Visualize yourself as a “cool” person and you will surely have that smile in your face . Visualize yourself as a patient person and you can be one without much effort. Choose your kind of behavior.

6.      Think of yourself as a positive person – a happy person, as if you are a kind of light from which emanates a radiance that floods your surrounding with happiness. Think of yourself as a radiance that touches others to give them warmth.

7.      Share. We have been used to sharing material things – food, money, etc. which are tangible. But have you ever unselfishly shared ideas that in one way or another can help others? But remember not to impose when you share. In doing this, it should be on a “take it or leave it” basis.

To be honest about it, I had second thoughts before deciding to put these “personal” guiding principles into writing to be shared with others. Verbally, however, I have tried it – in the course of casual conversations with acquaintances. I just do not know, if after these conversations, what I have “shared” have been inadvertently forgotten or intentionally thrown to the winds. At least I tried…