Want a Serene Life? Try These…
By: Apolinario B. Villalobos
Seven Suggested
“Don’ts”
1. Do
not accumulate worldly materials beyond your need. Most people adhere to the
notion that the more worldly materials they have in life the more they become
secure. And for them, these accumulated materials manifest success in life,
too. It is the reason why these people become compulsive buyers and
collectors of things that take their
fancy – things that they can show off. Unknowingly, by doing so, they are
developing some kind of fear of not having things that they want which further
develops into insecurity, and worse, attachment to these worldly things making
them reluctant to accept death knowing that they are leaving their accumulated
wealth behind.
2. Do
not play “God” to others. Some people try their best “to guide” others to
do good. Unfortunately, they themselves
are doing things the wrong way. It is
like telling friends: follow what I say,
but do not follow what I do.
3. Do
not depend on someone or something for happiness. Some people attribute their
happiness to their success in job, kind of family, friends, wealth, etc. As a
result, when they lose their job, it is as if life has ended for them, or
when their marriage has failed, for them
the only way to end the misery is to commit suicide, or when close friends have
left them, they felt there is nobody to
run to when problems crop up, or when their savings have dwindled, they felt as
if they have suddenly become poor. Just take things in stride.
4. Do
not “mark” people. Do not ask others what province they came from, or
what their jobs are, or where they live.
Accept people as what they are.
Purportedly, we ask people about their
background so that we will know how
to “adjust” to their kind of personality. Unconsciously,
however, the one
reason why we do that is to make sure
that we are better than them. It is
when we have known their background that
we begin to blame these for
their faults.
5. Do
not think that you can never do any good. Believe in what you can do. As
you wake up in the morning, do not ever
think that you are too tired to do
things for the day or that you are not
just in the mood to do some things for
the day. If you develop the habit about
negating your capabilities, such will
stick to your personality, which can
later on drag you down.
6. Do
not attach your emotions to any worldly materials. Learn how to part with your
“valuables” so that you will not be depressed afterwards. Console yourself with
the thought that you have made a sacrifice to make others happy.
7.
Do not be impressed by external beauty – the
made up faces on magazine covers. Most importantly, do not compare how you look
with these images. Each one of us is unique. Beauty emanates from inside of us
and the impression depends on how we manifest them through our speech, actions,
etc. Beauty can be equated with gracefulness and tactfulness. If one feels
blessed or enlightened, tranquility is shown on his or her face and that is
when beauty is manifested and impressed on others.
Seven Suggested “Do’s”
1.
Talk to yourself. At least once a day,
especially, before arising from bed, try to contemplate on what you have done
the day before and evaluate them whether they were good or bad. Did you hurt somebody’s feelings? Did
you exploit somebody to your own advantage? Etc. As an exercise, face yourself
in the mirror and talk to yourself. Scold yourself if you found that you have
done something wrong. The best measure for this is the “Golden Rule” which simply put, is your not wanting bad
done to you, hence, you should not do something bad to others, too. If indeed
you have wronged others, make amends.
2.
Let go…! Let go of whatever bad thoughts you
have about others. Try
replacing these thoughts with the goodness that these
“others” have done,
not necessarily to you, but to others. You may go
to the extent of presuming
that they have
done something good to others. It can’t hurt you.
3.
Be contented… with the kind of friends you
have. You may extend a helping
hand in such a subtle way as to
imply that they need to change their ways. Do not impose yourself on them for
they will surely be turned off.
4.
Listen to your conscience. Man was created
by God as an intelligent being, hence, with the ability to know what is good or
bad. And, as our integral part, we have our conscience – our inner self that
always tells us what is good for us. Unfortunately, our physical self always
plays the villain. That is why, there exists the so-called “mind vs. body”
struggle. With a simple vice as smoking for instance, our conscience tells us
that it is bad but our physical craving tells us to go ahead. It is therefore,
worthwhile to listen once in a while to what our conscience says, and
discipline in this regard will determine, how far we can go.
5.
Visualize. You can be what you want to be.
As earlier mentioned, the impression that you give depends on what is going on
in your mind. Visualize yourself as a “cool” person and you will surely have
that smile in your face . Visualize yourself as a patient person and you can be
one without much effort. Choose your kind of behavior.
6.
Think of yourself as a positive person – a
happy person, as if you are a kind of light from which emanates a radiance that
floods your surrounding with happiness. Think of yourself as a radiance that
touches others to give them warmth.
7.
Share. We have been used to sharing material
things – food, money, etc. which are tangible. But have you ever unselfishly
shared ideas that in one way or another can help others? But remember not to
impose when you share. In doing this, it should be on a “take it or leave it”
basis.
To be honest about it, I had second thoughts before deciding
to put these “personal” guiding principles into writing to be shared with
others. Verbally, however, I have tried it – in the course of casual
conversations with acquaintances. I just do not know, if after these
conversations, what I have “shared” have been inadvertently forgotten or
intentionally thrown to the winds. At least I tried…
