Pride Closes the Mind
Posted on Wednesday, 22 March 2017
Pride Closes the Mind
By Apolinario Villalobos
Some people think that accepting the
mistake they made is humiliating. They also think that people who give them
advice are intruding into their intellectual domain. Worse, these same people
who are buoyed by money and intoxicated by success think that they are above
the rest of humanity...and, they just cannot imagine themselves looking back or
looking down to where they came from. Blame pride, arrogance, conceit.
Self-esteem should be maintained despite material
gains. But it should not be tainted with
pride. Moving on is part of life and those
who gain by dint of hard work should compose themselves as successes are gained
along the way. Studies show that one reason why some successful people refuse
to look back or cut off their relationship with former colleagues is their fear
that the latter would ask for a share of what they gained. These people not
only refuse to look back but they also close their mind.
Those blinded with pride may not only move
on, but up – climbing the ladder of society to find a new environment where
they can move with ease, thanks to their new glittering trappings and money.
Among newfound friends, they open themselves up. But since money is not
everything in life and relationship with newfound friends is not deeply rooted,
happiness is short-lived. As these people grow old they may realize that late
parties, golfing with rich buddies, weekend jaunts to first class resorts, dinners
in 5-star hotels, etc. have become boring. They start to long for childhood
friends, relatives in barrios and slums. But they are ashamed to make a turnaround
and trace back their steps to where they came from. And, since, they cannot
bring along their wealth with them when they bid the world goodbye, their death
could be lonely.
(I
based this blog on the story of a couple who lives in an affluent village in
Makati City, Philippines. Between the two, I could surmise that the wife should
be blamed for their situation now. The wife is arrogant and obviously has the
hand in all their affairs. Both of them came from Davao City where they also
earned their bachelor’s degree from a prestigious Catholic educational
institution in that city. They met in Manila while she was working as a
secretary in a pharmaceutical firm and he was with a travel agency. After
getting married, the wife resigned from her job and went into direct selling of
beauty products which prospered. The husband also resigned from his job and
joined his wife but expanded their line of products. They were blessed with 2
children. It was while they were enjoying the fruit of their hard work that
they almost forgot about their families and friends back in Davao city. When at
first, they were helping their respective family, later on they stopped, thinking
that their families are milking them of their hard-earned money. Actually, the
idea came from the wife who also said that those in Davao should also work hard
like them (this bit of information was given to me by the husband,
confidentially). In time, communication was cut off. Their two children are
both in the United States now with their own families. With advancing age, he
is 81 and she is 79, they are now full of regrets. I was referred to them by a
friend as they want their “success” story written down into a book. But I
suggested to them that for their story to have a happy ending, they should
swallow their pride and go back to Davao to mend the broken relationship with
their families which they did. But whether they did it with sincerity or not, I
can never tell.)
Discussion