Showing posts with label respect. Show all posts

Simplifying Life with Love, Tempered by Respect

By Apolinario Villalobos

A positive life or rather, way of life is supposed to be ruled by just love and respect. Basically, we should love God, love life that He gave, and love others, be they within our family or strangers, as well as the so-called lesser creatures.  And, with love, comes respect. That is how life should be lived…supposedly.

But because of selfishness, life has been polarized. At one end are those who are exploited by others and at the other end, are those who exploit them. Life has become complicated because of the emergence of the mentioned evil desire.

If only we can simplify life with love tempered by respect, then, there will no longer be a desire for anything that is more than what we need. Selfishness is the reason why man is never satisfied. Man covets those that are not his. He even covets those that are not yet on hand.

Because life today is ruled by strength and money, man can no longer say that in order to survive, he can just run to the wilderness and harvest food, just like they do in the days of old. Today, living is simply a choice between simplicity but entails a lot of physical sacrifice, and complexity which calls for a lot of spiritual sacrifice. Simply put, it is either to live with hunger and needs, then die with a mouth agape with pain, or live in luxury, and die with a reluctant and heavy heart due to the amassed wealth that will be left behind.

But, since God gave man intelligence and free will, the choice is his. One encouraging fact, however, is about the seeping in of a need among many men and women, to reach out to Him, as they approach the threshold of their life. Unconsciously, there is a transformation in the way they live, leading to one of simplicity. Many are surprised about their loss of interest for socials, but veer their interest, instead, toward religious congregations. Some even start donating their wealth to worthy causes. If ever there is a need for socials, simple “ballroom dances” in multi-purpose halls are enough.

One only needs to look around to see this phenomenon – senior citizens smiling their way to their respective Church, with some donning work clothes on weekends to render volunteer service for community outreach projects, while others protect themselves with umbrellas on their way to depressed areas to conduct Bible studies. They all seem to shout to the world that they can still do something for the love of God and others despite their age. With their simple acts of living, they, indeed, are showing love and earning respect!

Tillah: Badjao woman who works with dignity

By Apolinario Villalobos

On my way to the bus terminal of Tacurong city where I was to take a van for Davao, I saw a Badjao woman who was carefully covering the seat of a motorbike with a piece of corrugated cartoon, supposedly to protect it from the scorching heat of the sun and a sudden downpour. I talked to the woman and asked for her name which she gave as “Tillah”. She told me that she has four children who has the same “job” and that they are positioned in strategic corners of the city. By strategic, it means where motorbikes park. Even car owners concede to have the hood of their cars covered with a piece of cartoon.

The cartoons are the dismantled corrugated boxes that the Badjaos ask from store owners and had seen good old days as containers of milk, sachets of instant noodles, etc. The collection of dismantled boxes become precious belongings of these boat and stilt house-dwelling Filipinos. They are paid Php5 for their “service”. In the evening, the cartons become their sleeping mats that cover the cold pavement of a sidewalk where they could spend the night.

Further asked about her family, she told me that she is a widow with four children. Having no source of income in Zamboanga, except begging, they ventured inland, trying their luck in any town along the way, as they seek a “greener pasture”. They are lucky to have stayed longer in Tacurong because of the benevolence of the residents.

Hopefully, I would be able to meet the children of Tillah….perhaps, when I come back to the City of Goodwill.

Respect for Time, Discipline and Death

By Apolinario Villalobos

Practically, everybody is familiar with the adage, “we cannot turn back the hands of time”. But still, many do not have a full understanding of what it means and its effect to our life. They may also appreciate such adage that serves as a reminder, but they are not serious about it.

Time is the most important factor that can affect life as the world is at its mercy. Regretting for the lost time is like crying over spilled milk or precious water. We may cry our eyes dry and punch our chest with clinched fist while uttering hundreds of mea culpa, but what have been spilled can no longer be recovered. We cry over lost opportunities because we were late for appointments. We lost a prospective job because we were late for the interview. We missed our flight because we did not wake up early, etc.

Anything that is not respected is disregarded or taken for granted, and that is what many people do to time most often. Many forgot that time is used to reckon our physical and mental development, how we fare as we trudge along the road of life, and in giving us a chance to change for the better. We always say, “…give me time” which simply means, “…give me a chance”.

Time is so much a part of our life that many people become uneasy if they do not glance at a watch every hour of the day. Everything that we do is controlled by time, from waking up until we go back to bed. Time controls our job, our meals, even our use of the toilet. We even use it to warn others about their misdoings by telling them, “how many times did I tell you….”. Even our pulse and heartbeat are timed to check if we are physically fit.

If time controls us, discipline compels us to abide by its ticking, such that husbands must be home before midnight, employees must be at their post at certain designated time, minors must be home not later than ten in the evening, meals should be taken at certain times of the day till evening, medicines should be taken at certain times, etc. Respect for time and utmost discipline cannot be separated as without the other, our life and the world will be in a topsy-turvy state.

We should also be thankful to the guy who discovered time and those who invented gadgets that we need to measure the extent of our life in this world. Time tells us when we should “depart” from this world, unless it is cut short by unexpected events resulting to what we call as as “untimely” death.

Mga Obserbasyon at Opinyon ko na Dapat Respetuhin

at Hindi Dapat Kwestyunin

Ni Apolinario Villalobos

SABI NG ISANG TAGA-CHR, HINDI DAW KAILANGAN ANG PARUSANG KAMATAYAN UPANG MAWALA ANG KRIMINALIDAD SA PILIPINAS. KAILANGAN LANG DAW AY HULIHIN ANG MGA KRIMINAL, LITISIN, AT IKULONG AYON SA UMIIRAL NA HUSTISYA.  SUMAKIT ANG TIYAN KO SA KATATAWA NANG MARINIG ANG INTERVIEW SA KANYA. BULAG KAYA AT BINGI ANG NAGSALITA? Pero, nirerespeto ko ang opinion niya….nagtatanong lang ako.

ANG MGA DRUG LORDS AY NASA BILIBID NA PAGKATAPOS MALITIS DAHIL NAPATUNAYANG NAGKASALA, PERO TULOY PA RIN ANG OPERASYON NILA NANG WALANG TAKOT DAHIL  HINDI NA SILA MAKAKASUHAN ULI…. MAY GUWARDIYA PA SILA AT NAKATIRA SA AIRCON NA ANIMO AY CONDO.  NGAYON, NALIPAT MAN SILA NG TIRAHAN, TULOY PA RIN ANG OPERASYON NILA KAHIT WALANG CELL PHONE DAHIL NAGBAGO NA SILA NG TAKTIKA. PAKITA LANG YAN NA ANG SINASABING HUSTISYA AY “KULANG” NA PANTAPAT SA KATUSUHAN NG MGA TAONG SARILI LANG ANG INIISIP. Obserbasyon ko yan na dapat respetuhin at ang hindi bilib, gumawa ng sarili nilang obserbasyon….saan man sila nakatira, na ang ILAN ay sa ibang bansa at ang source ng balita nila ay mga biased na mga lumalabas sa internet at mula sa CNN!

ILANG KRIMINAL NA BA NOON ANG HINULI PERO HINDI NAKASUHAN DAHIL SA “TECHNICALITIES” NA PARANG SINASADYA NG MGA KASABWAT NA PULIS?...AT, PINALALA NG MGA TIWALI RING HUWES?....AT, LALO PANG PINALALA NG MGA “MAGAGALING” NA ABOGADONG MAY KAKAYAHANG MAGPAKITANG “TAMA” ANG “MALI” DAHIL SA MILYONES NILANG PROFESSIONAL FEE? PAKITA LANG YAN NA SA PILIPINAS BASTA MAY PERA KA, IKAW ANG “HARI”. Opinyon ko yan na dapat respetuhin.

YAN BA ANG SINASABI NG CHR NA HUSTISYA SA PILIPINAS? HINDI KO SINASABING DAPAT AY PATAYIN AGAD ANG MAHULI. ANG HINIHINGI KO LANG AY TIGILAN NA NG MGA AHENSIYA AT ILANG TAO NA MGA KAPANALIG KUNO NG “HUMAN RIGHTS” ANG PAGBUBULAG-BULAGAN AT PAGBIBINGI-BINGIHAN SA MGA TOTOONG NANGYAYARI SA PILIPINAS. IBIG KONG SABIHIN, TIGILAN NA NILA ANG KADADAKDAK NA ANIMO AY MGA BEBE AT PATONG GUTOM O PUSANG NALILIBUGAN NA NAGHAHANAP NG MAKUKUBAWAN KAYA NGIYAW NG NGIYAW NA NAKAKAISTORBO SA MGA NATUTULOG SA DIS-ORAS NG GABI! Opinion ko rin yan na dapat respetuhin…at ang tanong ko ay dapat sagutin ng mga nagmamagaling na nag-aakalang may radar ang utak nila kaya nakakapik-ap ng mga pangyayari sa Pilipinas kahit nasa abroad sila..ILAN LANG NAMAN SILA!

Ang mga Pagkakaiba-iba ng Kaisipan ng mga Tao

Ay Hindi Dapat Gawing Batayan ng Pagtatalo

Ni Apolinario Villalobos

Sa pagrerespetuhan ng mga ideya, hindi dapat sabihin ng isang tao na mali ang sinasabi ng iba batay sa kanyang iniisip, maliban na lang kung ang tinutumbok nito ay pamiminsala ng hindi dapat pinsalain o sirain. At, kung nasa kalagayang may mga nakikinig, nagmamasid o nagbabasa, tulad ng debate o balitaktakan sa publiko, at mga pino-post sa facebook, dapat ay magkanya-kanya sa paglahad ng mga ideya upang mapagpilian kung alin ang papanigan.

Ang antas ng dunong ng mga tao ay magkakaiba, kaya nagkakaroon din ng kaibahan sa paniniwala depende sa kinalakhang tahanan o kumunidad, at lalong higit, sa kultura ng bansa. Dahil diyan, kung ano ang tama, halimbawa, kay Juan na lumaki sa iskwater ay maaaring hindi katanggap-tanggap kay Richard na lumaki sa isang marangyang tahanan sa high-end na subdivision, kaya magpatayan man sila ay talagang walang pagkakaunawaang matatamo. Ang isa pang halimbawa ay, kung ano ang tama sa mga taga-Africa ay maaaring mali sa mga taga-Asya kaya magkaubusan man ng lahi, hindi rin malalaman kung sino ang tama o mali.

Ang mga halimbawa ay pagputol ng ari ng isang lalaking nanggahasa sa isang bansa sa Gitnang Silangan, na para sa mga Kristiyanong bansa ay mali. Sa ibang bansa sa Silangan ay napapalampas ng pamahalaan ang paghitit ng opium, subalit napakamali naman sa nakararaming bansa. Ganoon din ang paghitit ng marijuana na napakaluwag naman sa ibang bansa sa Yuropa (Europe), kaya naglipana pati mga party drugs na kumalat hanggang sa Pilipinas.

Pang-unawa sa isa’t isa, sa kabila ng mga pagkakaiba ang kailangan upang magkaroon ng kapayapaan. At, kung ang pang-unawa ay sasamahan pa ng pagbibigayan ay lalong matiwasay sana ang buhay sa mundo.

Be Sensitive to the Desire of Others

for Privacy and Mutual Respect

By Apolinario Villalobos

Be sensitive to what our friends want when it comes to their privacy and their subtle desire to be respected as they do to us. We should not throw our weight around them or be nosy about their private affairs, or be too fatherly or motherly, or too elderly in treating them. Some people or friends for that matter are too shy to protest against our intrusive acts. Take note that not everybody is boastful or arrogant or too self-confident, if we have that kind of personality. Be sensitive about our friends’ body language as a simple silence could mean a lot.

We should always remember that what may be applicable to us, may not apply to them. If we allow for instance, friends to just barge in our home without knocking at the door anytime of the day, some of our friends may not, as they consider such act as too presumptuous or worse, abusive. Some friends may not want to be asked about any problem that might be nagging them, as their overly private character has made them too secretive about such sensitive matter.

We should learn how to “give a suggestion” instead of “impose an advice” just because those we want to help are younger than us or belong to a lesser social status. Let respect of their person and wisdom prevail. In this regard and based on my encounters, I found that even some of those who have earned only elementary education have wiser or sounder decisions than those who got educated in prestigious colleges and universities to earn “high-end courses”.

Finally, be careful and ever gentle in browsing through the pages of a book and most of all…do not judge it by its cover.

Harmony in Diversity Breeds Respect and Love

…with Mindanao (Philippines) as a typical case

By Apolinario Villalobos

In the Bible, the Israelites failed their God when they did not follow His instruction to the letter. Instead of annihilating all members of the pagan tribes whose cities they have overran, in some, they allowed the inhabitants to live side by the side with them. Some Israelites even took their women as wives. There was harmony, somehow, although not pleasing in the eyes of their God.

When the Arab and Chinese traders came to the Sulu Archipelago to ply their wares thousands of years ago, they intermarried with the native women, so today, some Tausugs have Chinese and Arab names and the fused cultures are obviously manifested in their physical features. There was harmony, then, for the sake of commerce, but which developed into respect and love that became the foundation of the Sulu Sultanate.

“Conquest” of kingdoms can also be accomplished through intermarriages, such as what happened in Egypt, the Iberian region and Europe. Despite the differences in culture, harmony was developed and bred respect among their royalties, thus, kingdoms were expanded. Still today, some business tycoons, especially, in Asia, have the habit of merging their wealth through marriage. In time, the human “instruments” for the worldly end, somehow develop love for each other.

In Mindanao, Philippines, particularly the Muslim central and southern portions of the island, the migrants from Luzon and Visayas, and the indigenous Muslims live harmoniously in communities as neighbors. Unfortunately, due to politics instigated by greedy desire of the few, animosities developed. Nevertheless, those who are really advocating peace persist in maintaining their warm neighborly relationship founded on love, respect, and lately, tolerance.

There is a story of a couple in which, the wife is from a royal Muslim family, while the husband is an ordinary hardworking Christian. They underwent three marriages – Islamic, Christian and Civil, with the consent of their parents. Their children were not baptized days or weeks after birth, the Christian way, but when they were old enough to choose which faith they preferred. In time, the couple began to raise Christian and Muslim children, but they do not feel any “difference” at all. Today, each of them observes the chosen faith with utmost sincerity in a home that permeates with love.

Lately, the son of a Muslim couple decided to become a Catholic priest. Instead of ostracizing him, the parents prayed over him to strengthen his chosen faith.

Clearly now, the problem in Mindanao is not the difference in faith as despite the diversity, the Mindanaoans are united by love and respect for each other, founded on harmonious relationship. What is happening in Mindanao are the doings of greedy politicians, but hope is not gone from the heart of Mindanaoans who had been longing for autonomy…with God’s help!

Tolerance should be respected

By Apolinario Villalobos

There is nothing wrong with tolerance which even the people’s pope, Francis is practicing. It is important however, that we should recognize and respect such. It should be noted that our rights end where the rights of others begin. Tolerating the ways of others should not mean that they are given the right to go beyond the line beyond which others dwell on their own rights.

In this regard, it is important that religions should be tolerated and respected – not abused and ridiculed. The latest bombing of Charlie Hebdon in France is a clear manifestation of how some people can have the temerity to ridicule other people’s religion, this time, Islam. The bombed group even has the gall to justify their act by mentioning that the new pope had his share of ridicule, but the latter did not react. How can these people forget that human beings differ in their degree of tolerance?  …or better, people belonging to different races differ in character from each other? Why can’t these French just ridicule their fellow French, for fun?

Most importantly, religion is such a sensitive issue deserving utmost respect. Its spirituality deserves the highest degree of esteem, as it deals with a person’s total being – his life and relationship with his Creator. And, nobody has the right to question such faith.

The Islamic State issue is more than annoying enough that it even disheartens some Muslims who go against the violent ways of the said movement. Comparing faiths at this time is uncalled for and can just worsen the heating up friction between the Christian and Islamic faiths. Groups of so-called “concerned intelligentsia” are nothing but hypocrites who cannot even discern the simple meaning of the “Golden Rule”.

Finally, the best act that one can do if he desires to go beyond boundaries of differences is by simply extending a hand beyond them for the sole purpose of helping.

Tolerance should have limitations

…that must be respected

By Apolinario Villalobos

There is nothing wrong with tolerance which even the people’s pope, Francis is practicing. It is important however, that we should recognize and respect its limitations or boundaries. We should always remember that our rights end where the rights of others begin. Tolerating the ways of others should not mean that they can go beyond the line beyond which others dwell on their own kind of rights.

It is important that religions should be tolerated and respected – not abused and ridiculed. The latest bombing of Charlie Hebdon in France is a clear manifestation of how some people can have the temerity to ridicule other people’s religion, this time, Islam. The bombed group even has the gall to justify their act by mentioning that the new pope had his share of ridicule, but the latter did not react. How can these people forget that human beings differ in degrees of tolerance?  …or better, peoples belonging to different races differ from each other? Why can’t these French just ridicule their fellow French, for fun?

Most importantly, religion is such a sensitive issue deserving utmost respect. Its spirituality deserves the highest degree of esteem, as it deals with a person’s total being – his life and relationship to his Creator. And, nobody has the right to question such faith.

The Islamic State issue is more than annoying enough that it even disheartens some Muslims who go against the violent ways of the said movement. Comparing faiths at this time is uncalled for and can just worsen the heating up friction between the Christian and Islamic faiths. Groups of so-called “concerned intelligentsia” are nothing but hypocrites who cannot even discern the simple meaning of the “Golden Rule”.

Finally, the best act that one can do if he desires to go beyond boundaries of differences is by simply extending a hand beyond them for the sole purpose of helping.

Before we can give instructions

…first, we must be good followers

By Apolinario Villalobos

We must first do the things that we want done to show that they are possible, before we can expect others to do the same. This is about the possibility of results that we expect. In short…do first to prove, then, give instructions or demand for similar results. For all those things, we should be patient.

This expectation, however, is situational. If we are the employer, we have all the right to be followed as our subordinate has no choice. To have some kind of good results based on our expectations, it is necessary to show our subordinates what should be done. On the other hand, in a situation where the parties are on equal footing, instructions should be given with subtleness or  lightness, hence, co-equals are given the choice to follow or not.

Respect to the one who gives instruction is necessary. Without such in any situation, expect the futility of the effort, regardless of the good motive. If the leader, for instance is seen as indifferent or weak, expect the subordinates to ignore him as he turns his back, even leer at him. His voice becomes a cry in the wilderness. Others will then perceive the leader as inept or inefficient.

If the leader has not proven anything yet, he has no right to give instructions or expect results out of them. Along this line, the incompetent political leader who is already in place, vigorously peddles influence and buys support from the different levels of the government using people’s money, to ensure that he will have a clout. His act gives a wrong signal to his subordinates and peers who then think that they can do the same. Those “bought”, meanwhile, smile their way to the bank. The selfish motive of the leader has practically bred corruption!

Finally, corruption results from the ineptness of people who do not want to sweat out the good results of their effort. They let themselves be used by others or lick their ass, to gain influence and wealth. 

Simplifying Life with Love, Tempered by Respect

By Apolinario Villalobos

A positive life or rather, way of life should be ruled only by love and respect. Basically, we should love God, love life that He gave, and love others, be they within our family or strangers, as well as the so-called lesser creatures.  And, with love, comes respect, and with respect comes endurance. That is how life should be lived…supposedly.

But because of selfishness, life has been polarized. At one end are those who are exploited by others and at the other end, are those who exploit others. Life has become complicated because of the emergence of the mentioned evil desire.

If only we can simplify life with love tempered by respect, then, there will no longer be a desire for anything that is more than what we need. Selfishness is the reason why man is never satisfied. Man covets those that are not his. He even covets those that are not yet on hand.

However, because life today is ruled by strength and money, man can no longer say that in order to survive, he can just run to the wilderness and harvest food, just like they do in the days of old. Today, living is simply a choice between simplicity but entails a lot of physical sacrifice, and complexity which calls for a lot of spiritual sacrifice. Simply put, it is either to live with hunger and needs, then die peacefully, or live in luxury, and die with a reluctant and heavy heart due to the amassed wealth that will be left behind.

But, since God gave man intelligence and free will, the choice is his. One encouraging fact, however, is about the seeping in of a need among many men and women, to reach out to Him, as they approach the threshold of their life. Unconsciously, there is a transformation in the way they live, leading to one of simplicity. Many are surprised about their loss of interest for socials, but veer their interest, instead, toward religious congregations. Some even start donating their wealth to worthy causes. If ever there is a need for socials, simple “ballroom dances” in multi-purpose halls are enough.

One only needs to look around to see this phenomenon – senior citizens smiling their way to their respective Church, with some donning work clothes on weekends to render volunteer service for community outreach projects, while others protect themselves with umbrellas on their way to depressed areas to conduct Bible studies. They all seem to shout to the world that they can still do something for the love of God and others despite their age. With their simple acts of living, indeed, they are oozing with love and respect for others, and though, without being solicited, earn some of these for themselves.