Showing posts with label failure. Show all posts

THOUGHTS OF A DREAMER

By Ire Ysabelle

“Living in defense mechanisms is just a mere façade. Pick yourself up, let go of harrowing things and gut-wrenched thoughts you are a failure.” Those were silent utterances at the back of my mind after realizing that everything in my life was an outright mess. These thoughts actually came by after listening to Jack Johnson playlist while I was in Vietnam.

I am Ire. I am just like other people who dream…who set one’s heart for good things, inclined to just live happy. At a little past 30, I had my fair share of rejections, elfin heat heartaches, even baffled instances that would lead to toil up my way with so much effort.

Looking back and before having a daughter, I was that slap-happy that displayed a nonchalant sort of disposition. I reveled in solo backpacking trips around the country and abroad, taking photos of temples, countryside, food, beaches and others that take my fancy. I took pleasure out of my savings while doing online English tutorial job. Shove my ass off working for several months then travel, after which I came back again to Mindanao after 8 years of living in Iloilo where I took up AB Psychology at the University of the Philippines in Miag-ao. Then on, I habituated myself to what living is here – simple, and everything just minutes away.

I gained friends…and, unfortunately, gained weight. I became a Psychology instructor at the Notre Dame of Marbel University (Koronadal City) where I reaped most of my good memories. In the academe, you get to be fulfilled but at times hated for giving failing grades. That was the beauty of teaching that amused me.

I woke up one day to a letter of invitation for me work in Hanoi, Vietnam as Academic Coordinator at Oxford English Academy. It was a challenge that I did not let go as the opportunity promised travel and fair wage. Several times in the past, I had been to Ho Chi Minh as a backpacking tourist but never been to the cosmopolitan city of Hanoi which purportedly has four seasons. The thought of experiencing “autumn” and “winter” got me excited, so that in no time, had me packing my things and finally booked for the first available flight. And, to make the story of excitement short, I got hired.

In the house where I stayed, I was with Portuguese, Vietnamese, and British nationals. Weekends would see us having dinners, wine with cheese on Tuesdays. We also enjoyed short trips to Thailand and Cambodia, but enjoyed most Vietnamese cakes and coffee that drowned our yearning for home.

From our home, I took two-hour bus ride to school, an opportunity for me to enjoy the patter of raindrops when rain caught me along the way, making me emotional at times. I was pregnant then, and I had to say “bao” (Vietnamese for pregnant) each time I took the bus hoping that a gentleman would give up his seat for me. I find Vietnamese autumn and winter not for me as I had to wear layers of clothes and boots to keep me warm.

I finally decided to go back home to the Philippines in time for the “arrival” of my pretty Martina. To sustain our survival, I worked as Behavioral Management Therapist in a hospital, giving occupational therapy to children with special needs. The job was so challenging and compensating, especially, when I see the happiness of parents whose children have gained improvement…a priceless reward for me as it manifested success on my part.

My love for food made me come up with Abrazo Rustico Resto-Café in Tacurong City. As I love challenges, it also gave me an opportunity to sort of test the waters of café business, as well as, provide a cozy nook for food trippers and coffee lovers like me. Initially, the café was located at the City Plaza building, and staffed with hardworking and eager team. Today, it is located along the highway, beside the Dragon gas station, a few steps from the NDTC campus.

Having still extra time on hand, I continued my behavioral management endeavor and came up with Little Hands Day Care, a small clinic catering to the needs of special children to help them overcome their disability. I knew it would entail understanding, patience…patience…and, more patience but I did not mind. My Martina has been giving me more inspiration that I could ask for. She has been helping me understand my purpose in life, thus, avoiding feeling emotionally kicked out of poor frustration and tolerance.

Today, as I recall my life inside a Vietnamese bus, tackling the 2-hour drive to my job in Hanoi makes me smile. Yes, I enjoyed my stay in Hanoi, what with the sight of long traffic of motorcycles that gave me fear in crossing the street, the bone-tearing winter, the smell of mint leaves, the super bitter coffee I still crave for, generous multi-national friends, and sunset viewed from Westlake. Despite the unexplained feeling of living in a strange place, I was immensely enjoying myself.

That is how it is with me…with my firm resolve in doing things despite failures at times. I must admit that I am a dreamer and this tendency even makes me forget my flights for Asian backpacking sorties…and, which happened twice! Well, that is life and I know that it can happen as I gain more maturity.

Mahilig Magturuan ang mga Opisyal ng Pilipinas

Kung May Bulilyaso!

Ni Apolinario Villalobos

“Feng Shui” o Pungsoy daw ngayon ang kailangan ng Manila International Airport Terminal 3. Kawawa naman ang nanahimik na terminal na inaakusahang may kamalasan daw. Ang malinaw ay…. mga taong namumuno ang malas dahil hindi nila ginagawa ang dapat nilang gawin! Walang aalingasaw na mga palikuran kung maayos ang management. Walang babagsak na kisame kung bago pinagamit ang terminal ay inayos muna. Hindi mawawalan ng kuryente at ilaw kung maayos ang pamamalakad ng mga pasilidad na ginagamit sa terminal tulad ng mga back-up generator at aircon units. Sino ang mga dapat na responsable sa mga ito?…eh, di mga taong namumuno!!! Bakit isisisi sa mga ispiritu ang mga kapabayaan ng mga tao?

Sa ibang bansa, ang mga namumuno kahit hindi pa napatunayang nagkasala ay nagpapakamatay dahil sa hiya….dito sa Pilipinas ang mga opisyal ay walang hiya!

Sa pagbanggit ng pungsoy ng mga naghuhugas-kamay at kapalmuks na mga opisyal upang maitaboy daw ang malas…..

Ibig bang sabihin, dahil hanggang ngayon ay wala pang love life ang presidente, malas ang pagtira niya sa Malakanyang at pamumuno sa buong Pilipinas? Kailangan din bang ipungsoy ang Malakanyang at buong bansa?

Ibig bang sabihin, dahil inuulan ng mga reklamo ang DSW, dapat ding ipungsoy ito, pero ang sinasabi naman ng iba ay baka malas daw ang buhok ng namumuno ng ahensiya dahil ang maliit na bahagi ng buhok ay regular na pinapalitan ng kulay, kaya sabi ng iba ay nagmumukha siyang squirrel? Bakit hindi siya hayaan kung statement niya ito? Wala namang masama sa pagpa-improve ng likas na ganda!

Ibig bang sabihin, dapat ding ipungsoy ang opisina ng DOTC, pati mga riles ng MRT at LRT dahil “minalas” ang mga namumuno, dahil sa pagbato sa kanila ng mga sunud-sunod na katiwalian? Bakit hindi ituloy ang pangako ng isang opisyal na magpapasagasa siya kung magkakaroon pa rin ng problema ang MRT upang madiligan ng dugo niyang kulay itim ang mga riles?

Ang hirap sa Pilipinas, ang mga itinalaga sa puwesto ng mga namili ng boto at nanalo ay mahilig magturuan. Kulang na lang ay ituro kay Satanas ang mga nangyayari sa Pilipinas upang makapaghugas sila ng kamay pagkatapos nilang humawak ng maruming perang ninakaw sa kaban ng bayan!

Do Not Feel Bad

About Unfulfilled Dreams

By Apolinario Villalobos

There is a popular adage, “life is what we make it”. All of us have limitations, hence, it follows that the life we live is based on our best effort, but hampered by limitations. We cannot be like what others are. We can strive, yes…but the result may not be the same as what others have accomplished. The problem with some of us is that they dream to be like somebody else which is impossible. Successful people can be looked up to as models or be admired, but cannot be exactly copied.

Success is relative. The degree and kind of success varies. In this regard, to avoid getting disappointed, one should accept what he has accomplished based on his capability and just strive a little harder to be able to accomplish more. He should not feel bad, for instance, because he did not become a manager like his friend, or a physician like another friend, or a mayor, etc.

Those who develop grudge because of their “failure” supposedly, equate success to fame which is wrong. Others feel that just because they did not become famous like others, they have become a failure. I can say that such kind of feeling is a manifestation of jealousy which breeds grudge….nothing else. Success in life is the happiness and contentment one feels every morning as he wakes up to another day….it is the joy felt in what he does.

We should not be occupied with gawking at what others are doing or be jealous with what they have accomplished. Each one of us has a different kind of life to live and concerns much different from the rest. On the other hand, the jealous attitude is most often the result of unnecessary and unhealthy rivalry in offices and other work sites. This is called professional jealousy which affects the operation and atmosphere.

Finally, successful people may wonder why some friends have suddenly kept a distance from them for no reason at all that they know of. There is something for these shunned successful people to ponder about…jealousy developed by their friends who have the habit of comparing themselves with others. Such unnecessary feeling made them jealous resulting to grudge that time may not expunge easily. My suggestion: a change in attitude…by being positive in living one’s life….and changing it for the better.

Do Not Feel Bad

About Unfulfilled Dreams

By Apolinario Villalobos

There is a popular adage, “life is what we make it”. All of us have limitations, hence, it follows that the life we have today is based on those limitations. We cannot be like what others are. We can strive, yes…but the result may not be the same as what others have accomplished. The problem with some of us is that they dream to be like somebody else which is impossible. Successful people can be looked up to as models or be admired, but cannot be exactly copied, so that the same admiration that they enjoy can be also reaped.

Success is relative. The degree and kind of success varies. In this regard, to avoid getting disappointed, one should be contented with what he has accomplished based on his capability. He should not feel bad, for instance, because he did not become a manager like his friend, or a physician like another friend, or a mayor, etc. Those who develop grudge because of their “failure” supposedly, equate success to fame which is wrong. Others feel that just because they did not become famous like others, they have become a failure. I can say that such kind of feeling is jealousy which breeds grudge….nothing else.

We should not be occupied with gawking at what others are doing or being jealous with what they have accomplished. Each one of us has a different kind of life to live and concerns much different from the rest. On the other hand, the jealous attitude is most often the result of unnecessary and unhealthy rivalry in offices and other work sites. This is called professional jealousy which affects the operation and atmosphere.

On the other hand, successful people may wonder why some friends suddenly kept a distance from them for no reason at all. Now, there is something for these shunned successful people to ponder about…jealousy developed by these people who think that their dreams are not fulfilled. Such unnecessary feeling made them jealous resulting to grudge that time may not expunge easily. My suggestion: a change in attitude…by being positive in living one’s life.

Ang Panukala tungkol sa mga Kabataan

…kinopyang ideya, kaya sobrang palpak!

Ni Apolinario Villalobos

Sa kakokopya ng mga mambabatas ng mga batas na umiiral sa Amerika, lalo na ang mga tungkol sa kabataan, nakalimutan nilang iba ang kultura ng Pilipino sa Amerikano.

Sa kultura ng Amerikano, kapantay, kung ituring ng mga kabataan ang matatanda kahit pa ang mga ito ay magulang nila.  Mayroon pang tumatawag sa magulang ng first name nito. Ang ugaling ito ay lalo pang pinalala ng mga batas nila na may kinalaman sa pagdisiplina ng kabataan, kaya kung sawayin ang mga kabataan nila, kahit ang mga walang muwang ay dapat sa salita lang. Hindi sila pwedeng saktan kahit bahagya, dahil sa kulungan ang bagsak ng nanakit na magulang.  Nagagawa tuloy ng mga kabataan doon na sumagot ng pabalang-balang sa kanilang mga magulang at may pananakot pang magsusumbong sila sa pamahalaan o tatawag sa 911 kung sila ay sasaktan, kahit malinaw namang may kasalanan sila.

Sa Pilipinas, maganda na sana ang paraan sa pagdisiplina ng mga kabataan dahil kung lumabis naman sa pananakit ang magulang ay maaari silang isumbong ng kapitbahay o maski sino, sa Barangay, at pwedeng ideretso din sa pulisya dahil may naka-assign namang desk upang mag-asikaso sa ganitong problem na itinuturing na hindi pangkaraniwan. Mula’t sapul, ang ganitong paraan ay katanggap-tanggap na, subalit may gustong magpa-istaring na mambatatas, kaya naisipan niyang gumawa ng panukala, kinopya naman…hindi original.

Sa pagdisiplina, hindi maiwasang saktan ng magulang ang anak lalo na ang mga paslit na hindi pa alam kung ano ang tama at mali. Hindi rin nila masyadong nauunawaan ang mga paliwanag kung sabihin sa kanila, kaya ang paraan lamang upang ipaalam sa kanila na mali ang kanilang ginagawa ay saktan ng bahagya.

Mahalagang matanim sa isip ng mga paslit o madanasan nila ang “katumbas” ng bawa’t maling gagawin nila. Halimbawa, malalaman lamang ng isang paslit na nakakapaso ang apoy sa sandaling hahawakan niya – isang karanasan na hindi na niya uulitin. Kailangan ding saktan ng bahagya ng magulang ang pasaway na paslit sa pamamagitan ng palo sa puwit upang ipabatid, halimbawa, na mali ang ang pagdumi kung saan-saan lang sa loob ng bahay, na susundan pa minsan ng pagsubo nito ng kanyang dumi.

Hindi maganda ang magiging resulta ng bagong batas dahil lalo lamang nitong palalalain ang nasisira nang disiplina ng mga kabataang Pilipino na nalulublob na sa masamang impluwensiya ng makabagong teknolohiya, mga bisyo tulad ng droga, sigarilyo, alak, at barkada.

Kahit kaylan, walang mabuting nagawa ang ibang mga mambabatas. Hindi nila pinag-iisipan ang mga  ginagawang panukala, masabi lang na may nagawa sila – pantakip sa kanilang korapsyon!

We never Learn Our Lesson

By Apolinario Villalobos

Oftentimes, when we stumble, we grumble and we blame others. We blame the world, even God. But when we succeed we oftentimes forget that we do not only owe to ourselves what we have accomplished. We forgot that we were given the chance by others, although the effort is ours. And, through all the struggles we made, we forgot that there is always His guiding hand.

We are intelligent enough to know that we can be blinded by success. We read stories about it. Yet, some of us persist on doing the same blunder. Some of us cannot keep their feet on the ground. Some thought that they can achieve success on their own, totally forgetting God in the process.

As always, some of us never learn one of the most important lessons in life – that arrogance can blind us to the point of forgetting how we came into this world. Not only some of us betray our fellowmen in the name of greed but forsake our innate faith, as well. 

Defeat is not having tried and failed

…but having failed to try

By Apolinario Villalobos

Sometimes we think of some things we could have done, but failed to do. There is always that culprit – apprehension or hesitance in doing something. Because of fear for failure, we chose not to proceed. But when we see others do them and succeed, the feeling of regret is no end.

There are things that we cannot do because of many constraints. It is necessary, therefore, that we should be realistic and do things that are within the limits of our capability – financially, mentally, and physically. We should not always presume that what others have successfully done, we can also do. We should treat the success of others as an inspiration to do other things, not necessarily for us to copy the things that they have done and succeed.

We can avoid having a feeling of dejection by not aspiring for a grand success from an initial venture. We should be contented with whatever simple success that comes out of our initial effort…at least we have tried. From then on, we are guided on what to do next, to be assured of a bigger success.

Failures should never pull us down and make us feel dejected…defeated. I have come across a part of the biography of a great poet, Robert Frost who, during his time, submitted poems to publishers who rejected them, until he finally found one who appreciated his works. His effort took time before it bore good result. He tried and failed, but never felt defeated…until finally, he triumphed.

I have a cousin who finished a degree in nursing which brought her nowhere along her career path, despite her having worked abroad. When she married a seafarer who started his career as a tailor, both of them decided to go home to our province and start a new life. They went into several retailing businesses, even selling barbecue till late at night. Finally, their patience paid up. Their wholesale business in office stationeries prospered. They suffered defeat in some of their efforts from which they gained valuable lessons in business. And, most importantly they did not stop in striving and trying all means to finally gain success.

Another story is about a classmate in high school who failed to finish a college course until he got married. The couple started selling banana cue in front of a college campus. Being the only vendors of such kind of street food in the vicinity, they captured the “student market”. The volume of sales brought them enough money that enabled them to send all their children through college. Finally, they were able to buy an adjoining piece of land on which they built a bigger stall cum residence.

Success, indeed, can only be realized when enough effort in trying is exerted…despite the threat of defeat.